


Stories from East Portlemouth Prep - Year Three

by aforgetfulgirl, hangonsilvergirl



Series: The Order of Weed [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Activism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Consensual Underage Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, MWPP Era, Marauders, Multi, Swearing, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Drinking, Vandalism, no magic, smoking weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aforgetfulgirl/pseuds/aforgetfulgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hangonsilvergirl/pseuds/hangonsilvergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A magic-less AU featuring the Marauders as prep school students in the modern day, involved in an underground activist organization that fights against the megalomaniac Tom Riddle, a fashion designer with questionable business practices.</p><p>If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tree Spiking (September 6th, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there is no Polo enjoyed by T.M. Riddle and several chainsaws meet an untimely demise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: This story was originally posted on a Livejournal between 2005 & 2008\. I am posting it here mostly so that it doesn't get eaten. I am copying it word for word, no edits. It is not particularly accurate for Briticisms and etc., and is nonsensical in some cases, but we loved it to pieces. Please don't take it seriously, it's honestly a gaff that got out of hand. For three years. :D

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing the bedroom door open and leaping forward onto Remus' most likely still sleeping form. "Remus!" He squealed again, a little desperately, and began shaking the lump underneath him. "Up! Up! Wake up you tosser, I've news! Earth shattering and all that! Up!"

"What?" Remus gasped, sitting upright rather quickly thanks to the shock of adrenaline now going through his system. "What's going on? Honestly, Sirius, you have a voice like a train whistle." He rubbed at his eyes and stifled a yawn, waiting for the boy currently sitting in his lap to explain why he was positively twitching at such an early hour.

"Turn it off," mumbled Peter from the other side of the room.

"Turn what off?" Sirius exclaimed confusedly. "My train whistle? You're insane! The world is insane!" He threw his arms up for added emphasis that what he had to share was indeed earth shattering as previously stated. "Trees, Moony! TREES! Beautiful hundreds-year-old trees! "

"Mum, I don't want to get up yet," Peter mumbled, and with a snort he rolled onto his other side and began snoring again.

"Oh. Yes. Beautiful. What about them?" Remus asked, tucking his hair behind his ears and leaning back on his arms. Sirius, he noticed, was still sitting in his lap.

"Glorious old trees, you know, up by Riddle's place? The only thing that doesn't make his house look like a death factory? Yes. Polo!" He said triumphantly and sadly, depressed by such a horrible loss. "Polo!" He emphatically repeated.

"Polo? Is that code for 'I've just done a lot of drugs and I am talking crazy now'?" Remus asked, grinning up at Sirius. He was quite proud he'd managed something witty, even if only marginally so, so soon after waking up. Perhaps he was learning after all.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and punched Remus in the arm before climbing off and standing up. "Polo, my friend, is no laughing matter!" He exclaimed haughtily and folded his arms across his chest. "If you want to lie there and allow Slutty McRiddle-face to chop down THREE-HUNDRED YEAR OLD TREES then I hope you dream of being sliced open by a chainsaw while ugly gay men play polo with your decapitated head!" Sirius was indignant and just a little bit tired.

Remus rubbed his arm and frowned. "What? He's going to chop down the old growth forest?" he asked, still confused but now also very concerned.

"Way to read between the lines Captain Obvious!" Sirius exclaimed with ferocious idealism.

"Yes sir," hiccoughed Peter sleepily, still lost in that place beyond consciousness.

"You weren't being obvious. You were talking about polo," he said, swinging his feet over the edge of his bed and leaning towards Sirius a little. This was probably actually important. "Finish my sentences. Slutty McRiddle face is going to..."

"Clear out a forest to play polo. Polo!" Sirius finished, and scratched his nose.

"This is going to begin..." Remus prompted.

"This morning!" Sirius exclaimed with urgency.

Remus paled a little. "Are you sure? The old growth? Why? Well I mean, for polo, but... he can't possibly think that's more important..."

"It is Riddle, my naive lumpy Lupin. Riddle. Consider your question again." Sirius sat on the bed again next to Remus' feet.

"Yes. But. He can't. I'll write the conservation office. They won't let him. They can't let him," Remus said firmly.

"I think we've gone beyond the letter writing point," Sirius replied glumly. "It's Riddle's property, and Riddle wants to play polo. The conservation office is stumped. It was in my email this morning." Sirius shook his head and looked out the window where the tips of the forest could be seen between the nearby houses. "The bottom line is that Riddle wants to play polo."

Remus groaned and flopped back onto his bed, overcome by the horror of being foiled by paperwork. "What can we do? We have to be able to do something. We could steal his polo clubs," he suggested half-heartedly.

Sirius laughed hollowly. "It is futile. Unless we put sharp and ripping type objects in sneaky places and pop the tires on the bulldozer."

"Well," Remus said in a strangled voice, "we could go watch. Pay our last respects. Old growth, honestly. Polo! Oh God, I feel sick."

Sirius commiserated. "Last respects indeed. I'd bring flowers but they'd be trampled." He sighed. "Haul on some trousers then," he said finally, after a moments thought. "We'll only be missing maths."

Remus looked at Sirius mournfully. "Old growth," he croaked. "Old growth for polo. This is bigger than maths. I can't believe this."

Sirius petted Remus absentmindedly on the head and stood again, heading toward the door. "'Tis a sad, sad day," he said. "I'll meet you downstairs."

Remus nodded and walked to his wardrobe to pull out clothes. He changed quickly into some of his warmer clothes since it was quite chilly out, colder than was usual for this time of year. He tugged on his loafers without untying them before grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.

He called over his shoulder, "I'm going out, Pete. Cover for Sirius and I today, will you?"

Without waiting for an answer, he took the stairs two at a time and met Sirius in the back corridor. They always used this exit when they left before or after classes, none of the teacher's offices had windows facing this way.

"Ready?" he asked Sirius somberly.

"As ready as I can be for the demolition of an ancient forest. C'mon then." It took them 20 minutes to walk from the school to Riddle's estate, a great dirty mansion with lovely kept lawns but poorly painted walls.

A bulldozer was perched precariously outside of the iron gates, and the man driving it was waving to a man on the other side.

 _Riddle_.

"There's the bastard," Sirius said through clenched teeth.

Remus grabbed Sirius' arm. "Come on, Padfoot," he said softly. "We'd better not get too close."

They weaved their way through the trees and ended up on a hill overlooking Riddle's property. Remus lay down on his stomach to watch over the crest of the small hill. He flinched as he heard the roar of a chainsaw starting up.

"I don't know if I can watch. It's too terrible. I hate him, oh I really, really hate him."

Sirius slid down next to Remus, flinching in sync with him at the sound of the chainsaw. "What's the point of the bulldozer if they've got chainsaws?" He questioned, peering over the rise of the hill. He was able to see several men approaching one of the larger trees. His stomach flopped.

"To clear the trees after they've fallen. They've still got to cut them first. Can't you see how wide they are? A bulldozer could never push that over. Or perhaps they're going to use them to try and remove the stumps after. That fucking idiot. I hope all the roots are so deep he doesn't get his bloody polo field anyway," Remus rambled. As the first bit of sawdust began flying on a real beauty, probably near seventy feet tall. Remus made a noise in his throat and turned to look at Sirius. "I bet you he doesn't even play polo. It's all for prestige. Bugger, bugger, bugger."

Sirius couldn't talk. He was infuriated, and his mouth was dry. He felt nauseous and homicidal. His temper was flaring and his brain throbbed as the chainsaw peeled cleanly through the wood. "Argh!" He exclaimed suddenly, and stood, then sprinted in the direction of the trees.

"No! Sirius, you'll get arrested! Or expelled!" Remus stumbled to his feet and tore after him. "Sirius!" he shouted as he pushed off hard with one foot and tackled Sirius around the middle. Remus managed to get on top of Sirius and pinned him by sitting on his hips and holding his arms down on either side of his head. He was breathing hard by this time but he managed to gasp, "What can you do now? You're just one boy. We'll think of something."

"Remus! Geroff!" Sirius exclaimed and tried to push the other boy off of him. "I don't care! He can't tear down a fucking forest for the sake of a polo field! He can't do it, the son of a bitch, now get off of me!"

"What are you going to do?" Remus shouted. "Sirius, think. What. Are. You. Going. To. Do? Will you just relax? We'll do something later, okay? Right now, you're just going to get both of us into trouble and we won't change anything." Remus looked up as the great tree began to sway and fall. It crashed to the ground with a resounding crack and Remus closed his eyes for a moment. He looked down at Sirius with renewed intensity.

"We'll spike them. Tonight. We'll come and spike them."

Sirius blinked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Spike them? Like load them up with whisky? I don't quite catch your drift I believe."

"Put metal spikes in them. It ruins the chainsaws," Remus answered. "It's illegal, though. Vandalism, they call it. What they're doing is vandalism, or worse. Murder. Anyway, if we get caught, we'll be arrested for sure."

Sirius blinked again and grinned suddenly. "That makes it all the more appealing in my opinion." He said as he pushed Remus off of him and sat up. "Lets do it."

"We'll have to break into the tool shed and see what there is to use. Do you think you can steal Filch's keys again?" Remus asked after settling himself into a sitting position beside Sirius.

"Obviously," Sirius replied simply. "That man manipulates easier than paper."

Remus nodded. "Good. Okay. Tonight then," he said and then collapsed backwards and rubbed his neck. "Ow, by the way."

After heading back to school and enduring a lecture from Professor McGonagall on the detrimental effects 'skiving off' as she called it would have on their futures, Sirius easily distracted Filch by locking Mrs. Norris in his office but making off with the keys.

They raided the tool shed and collected an assortment of sharp, spike like objects, shoving them in a potato sack.

"See anything else worth taking?" Sirius questioned.

"Hammers," Remus answered. "This is not going to be easy."

He looked at Sirius and said frankly, "I can't believe I suggested this. It's just. Old growth. It's worth it, right? Even if we get arrested? And we might. Riddle might hear us. He could report us. We might get arrested."

"Calm down," Sirius replied distractedly, tossing hammers in the bag. "We can be stealth if we don't freak out ahead of time."

"What's stealth about slamming spikes into trees? There's no way he won't hear it. Whatever. Let's just go before I, ah, 'freak out ahead of time'. Do we have everything?" Remus asked, tugging nervously at his shirtsleeves.

"You have legs don't you? There's this concept called running that I don't believe you're familiar with." Sirius shook his head and turned toward the door. "And yes, we've got everything. Let's go before we're spotting rustling about out here. I don't fancy a second lecture from McGonagall today."

They left, pulling their hoods up and disappearing into the trees. The hike to Riddle's seemed to take no time at all and then the night was filled with the sound of metal hitting metal as the two boys worked. They used up all of the metals bars they'd gotten from dissembling some old window grates they'd found in the corner of the tool shed. The vibrations from every connection of hammer to spike jarred their joints and after nearly four straight hours of hard work, they were sore and sweating and ready to head home.

It had been a long night and now there was none of it left. Although exhausted, both were looking forward to the following day.

The sun rose too early for only two hours of sleep after a very long day, but the two boys woke up with a sort of humming enthusiasm coursing through them nonetheless.

Once again Sirius came bounding into Remus and Peter's bedroom, explosive with expectant glee. "Mooooooooony!" He exclaimed with a smirk, jumping atop Remus once again. "It's a morning of revelation and destruction! And such lovely weather!"

This time, Remus was already awake. He pushed his hair out of his face and beamed wordlessly up at Sirius. He didn't know what to say, so he just smiled and put a hand on each of Sirius' knees.

Sirius swallowed, glancing at the placement of Remus' hands. On his knees. "Right then," he said suddenly, jumping upward and trying to maintain some sort of composure. "Time for a show, I believe."

Remus nodded. "We'll only be missing Religious Studies," Remus said in an imitation of Sirius from the previous morning. "Professor Malfoy will be glad we aren't there. Meet you downstairs?"

"Will do," Sirius replied happily.

After much dressing and running about, Sirius and Remus once again left the school and headed toward the Riddle estate.

"Looks like they're getting started," Sirius said, lying in the place where they had concealed themselves the day before.

Remus breathed out very slowly as they watched and waited. "Oh, I hope it works. I hope it breaks every single chainsaw there is here."

Seconds after, the roar of a chainsaw rested on the air and Sirius grinned at Remus. They watched quietly as the man carrying it brought it toward the bark. Suddenly, the roaring stopped. The blade of the chainsaw had cracked cleanly in two.

Remus made a pleased sound in the back of his throat and grabbed Sirius by the arm. He turned and offered a wide grin that lasted longer than he'd meant it to. He looked back as the sound of another chainsaw starting reached his ears. They tried it on the same tree, but the chain broke on that one too.

Sirius laughed triumphantly. They had won. Perhaps only temporarily, but they had made a dent in one of Riddle's idiotic ideas. "Polo. Watch him play polo. Ha!"

Remus snorted out one short gasp of, "polo!" before he dissolved into a fit of giddy giggles.

The giggles were contagious and Sirius began laughing as well, grinning like an idiot and utterly pleased with himself. "This is amazing mate," he managed through his laughing.

Remus could only nod as the laughter wracked his work-tired body. "Oh!" he said as another chainsaw started up. He quieted and leaned to peer over the hill. They tried it on a different tree and, sure enough, midway through the chainsaw blade snapped. That set Remus off again and he pressed his face into Sirius' shoulder as the volume of his laughter grew.

Sirius felt as though he had changed the world. "More broken chainsaws for ickle-Riddle," he sang tunelessly, smiling with satisfaction.

Suddenly, a loud shout could be heard. "Hey! Mister Riddle, this has been spiked! There's metal it! Bet it was one of those wackos from the conservation office!"

Remus held his breath and listened. "Let out the dogs. If they're still in the area, we'll find them."

"Oh no," Remus breathed.

"Shit," Sirius replied simply, and stood, grabbing Remus by the wrists. Quickly and wordlessly they tore off in the direction of the school.


	2. Unhappily Ever After (1997 - 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where irrationality, stupidity and fear win out; nobody gets what they want.

**June 25, 1999**

The ceremony was short. The graduating class of 1999 was only, like, sixty something students anyway, so it wasn't as though it could last too long. It was all very traditional, too, and even if Marlene would never admit it, there was some sort of strange thrill in throwing your hat in the air just like hundreds of thousands--or millions?--of students had done before. And the chaos that followed was fantastic, too.

As everyone began to run around, searching for friends and family, Marlene grinned and hiked her royal blue robe up around her knees as she climbed up onto the bench and hollered, "GIDEON PREWETT! Get over here!"

Gideon jumped about a foot in the air. His hat fell off. He scowled. That girl knew how to catch your attention, at any rate, and should be hired as someone's personal megaphone. Glancing over at her and grinning stupidly at the sight of her towering above everyone trying to weed him out, Gideon called back, "What do you want, woman?"

"A hug, idiot!" Marlene replied, holding out her arms. "Now hurry up! Don't make me stomp my foot."

Gideon laughed and ran toward her, catching her in his arms as she leapt from the bench. "What do you weigh, Christ," he joked, pretending to huff, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Hop on the treadmill, tubs!"

"Prick," Marlene said, but her voice was affectionate as she wrapped her arms around him. "Think there's enough going on we could sneak a celebratory kiss without the family noticing?"

"Who gives a fuck if they do?" Gideon asked quietly, and then kissed her.

Marlene leaned into the kiss, leaned into the comfortable familiarity of being close to Gideon like this. She could have gone on forever like this, but moments this close to perfect never last, and this one in particular was broken by, of all people, her mother.

"Oh, _Marlene_! You and Gideon, dear? Why didn't you _tell_ me!" came the nasal voice.

Her mother hardly even waited for Marlene and Gideon to break apart before she pulled Marlene into a hug.

"Your father and I were starting to worry you would end up a lesbian and we wouldn't get grandchildren, you know, so this makes me so happy!"

"Mother," Marlene said, pulling away from her and moving to half hide behind Gideon. This was a disaster.

Gideon's cheeks flushed red. He chewed on his lip and felt Marlene's hand slide into his. "Nope, she's not a lesbian," he said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Well, of course she isn't! How long has this been going on then?"

Marlene made a face up at Gideon in an attempt to lighten the mood before answering her mother's question with a casual, "A few years."

Gideon looked at his feet. He didn't like where this conversation was going. "Two and a half, thereabouts."

"Oh! Oh my, my, _my_. What kind of mother am I that I didn't even notice?"

"Could you stop, Mom? Please? Just leave it," Marlene begged. "You know now, and just... don't make a big deal out of it."

Yes, Gideon thought desperately, trying to look anywhere that wasn't Mrs. McKinnon's face. _Please, Please, just stop talking about it_.

"Oh, nonsense. I'm not making a big deal of anything that isn't already a big deal," Mrs. McKinnon said dismissively. "Two and a half _years_! I think two and a half years is certainly a big deal. That's quite a feat. Why, now that you've both graduated, you could even start thinking about marriage already!"

***

**April 8, 1998**

Grasping Marlene's hand more tightly, Gideon steered her toward the jewelry store with purpose, having had the most _ridiculous_ idea the night before.

"What I mean to say," he continued breathlessly, his face flushed with excitement, "is that we've been together for a year now, right?"

"Right," Marlene said slowly, watching Gideon's profile suspiciously and trying to ignore the tight little ball of excited _something_ in her stomach. _Don't jump to conclusions, Kinny. Don't_.

"Well," he said, stopping in front of the display counter and whistling for an attendant. "Don't you think... um. Wouldn't you..." _Damn_. It was harder to spit out than he wanted it to be.

"What, Gid?" Marlene said sharply, her voice sounding a little strange and impatient through the sound of her heart pounding. She noticed a disconnected sort of feeling that a pinched looking lady was making her way towards them, but she looked more likely to ask them to leave than to help them.

"Well. I thought we might be. Erm. Promised?" Gideon suggested.

"Oh," Marlene said softly, and then let go of his hand to throw her arms around his neck. "You sentimental idiot! Of course we should. That's an absolutely fantastic idea."

"Really?" Gideon asked, his voice squeaking. "I thought you might think I was off my nut," he admitted sheepishly.

The woman who had come to serve them cleared her throat, a displeased sort of look on her face. "Can I _help_ you?" she asked tersely.

"Oh! Right," Gideon said. "Could you show this beautiful young lady all of your promise rings under £200?"

***

**June 25, 1999**

Marlene eyed her mother warily and fiddled with the promise ring Gideon had bought her just after their first year anniversary. Her mother seemed to be waiting for Marlene to react to her statement, but Marlene didn't know what to say. So, she just swallowed and turned to look at Gideon, the word _marriage_ seemingly echoing in the air between them.

"Um. I don't think," Gideon started. "Not _now_ ," he said. "I mean, we're only 18 yet."

"Now, now, Gideon," Mrs. McKinnon said, smiling. "I married Marlene's father when I was 'only 18'. Given, he was 24 at the time, but it's not too young."

"Stop it, Mom," Marlene snapped. "If we want to get married, we'll get married, and if we don't want to, we won't. It's not up to you to tell us we should or shouldn't."

"There you are Gideon, sweetheart, I was beginning to think you were avoiding your dear old mum!"

Gideon's heart sank to his shoes. Oh no. _Oh no_. Oh no, no, no, no, no. "Hi, _Mum_ ," he said warningly, as she ruffled his hair.

"Oh, _hello_ Edith, how are you?" Clara Prewett asked Marlene's mother as she linked an arm with her son.

"Clara! Lovely to see you again. And I'm just wonderful!" Mrs. McKinnon said brightly. The two women had always gotten along well, and managed to stay relatively cheerful towards each other through all of the trouble Marlene and Gideon had gotten themselves into together. "I've just found out our little ones here have been seeing each other for _two and a half years_ , now. Did you know?"

" _Mum_ ," Marlene hissed, face colouring. Oh yes. Mrs. Prewett knew. Mrs. Prewett knew because _Gideon_ didn't know how to lock a stupid door.

***

**May 24, 1997**

One of Gideon's hands held Marlene's right hip tightly, and the other grasped the top of the iron, old-fashioned bed frame that his parents had given him for Christmas. It was their first time trying it this way, and Gideon watched Marlene's arse slid against his thrusts; judging by the sounds coming from her, she was enjoying this particular position as well.

For the longest time, Marlene had put off trying it this way, from behind, but now she wasn't quite sure why. It felt amazing, and though she thought she'd get tired of being on her knees, her back was pressed up against Gideon's chest and she didn't notice anything at all except him moving inside her and his body heat.

One of Marlene's hands was up on the bed frame next to Gideon's, and the other was down between her legs, rubbing herself. Yes, Marlene thought she quite liked this position.

"Gideon, honestly, how do your socks end up so--oh my goodness!" Clara dropped the laundry basket she'd been holding. "Oh _Gideon_! I - Marlene? Is that you?"

" _Mum_!" Gideon exclaimed, stopping and nearly toppling over in surprise. "Get out, just a moment, please, oh _fuck_!"

"Watch your mouth," Clara said automatically, and then, coming to her senses slightly, backed out of the room without another word and shut the door.

Marlene scrambled away from Gideon as quickly as possible and covered herself in his blanket before punching him hard in the shoulder. "Gideon! You fucker! How could you not lock the bloody door? Oh my God. She just... I can't _believe_ she just..."

Gideon ran his hand through his hair. "You had my trousers around my ankles before we were all the way up the fucking stairs!" he exclaimed. "I was not in a state of mind to remember to _lock_ the _door_ , what with there being no _blood_ left in my _brain_." He swallowed hard. "Oh _Jesus_ my mum just saw us shagging."

"No. No, you stupid _git_ ," Marlene hissed and reached for her underwear to begin to get dressed. "Your mom did not just see us shagging. She saw us shagging from behind. At least if it had been missionary or something it wouldn't have been so bad, but this? _This_? This is bloody humiliating. And don't you _dare_ try to blame me."

"Who's blaming? No blaming! It was a mutual thing, I was merely commenting! In any case my mother just walked in on me with my _dick inside of you_ , so I doubt that, ass-up or not, this is a good thing!"

"It doesn't matter! Just... shut up and get dressed," Marlene said, struggling into her bra. Once she had it on, she put her hands on her hips and glared at Gideon. "You're helping me sneak out of here, you understand? I am _not_ facing your mother after this. And pass me a shirt of yours. Mine is somewhere between your room and the front door."

Gideon stood, reaching for his pants. "Bugger you. Go home in your bra. You made me face your mum after the first time, remember?"

"Yeah, but my mum didn't catch us!" Marlene said, starting to panic. "My mum didn't know! She still doesn't know! Now give me a bloody shirt and sneak me out, Gideon!"

Gideon rolled his eyes. "Oh stuff a sock in it, Kin," he said, picking a dirty gym shirt off of the floor and tossing it at her before pulling up his trousers. "You're going to have to face her sometime. It's _my_ mum we're talking about, you know. She'll spring on you when you're buying freezer dinners at the supermarket."

"I hate you," Marlene said, pulling on the shirt and then sliding into her jeans. "I hate you so much, Gid." Of course, the fact that Marlene leaned over and kissed Gid proved how empty those words were. Hiding her face in his shoulder, Marlene admitted in a whisper, "Gid, I'm scared. How mad will she be? Will she tell my parents?"

Gideon shrugged. "I don't know. She seemed more _surprised_ than anything," he said. They both went quiet after that, and headed out of the room and down the stairs. They found Clara in the kitchen, sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window.

"I knew this day would come," she said matter-of-factly, without even looking at the two of them. "I always thought that you two would end up together. I just figured it was a little ways away, that's all." She rubbed her eyes. "I do hope you're using protection, Gideon," she said, and then turned her eyes on them, smirking a little. "Although, if Marlene gets pregnant, you know I won't object to looking after the grandchildren."

Marlene peeked out at her over Gideon's shoulder and blinked. "Uh. What?"

" _Mum_ ," Gideon groaned.

"What, Gideon? You know how I feel about grandchildren. We haven't got any worries about Molly popping them out, but I worry about you and Fabian sometimes. Fabian especially. He doesn't seem to have an interest in anything but video games."

"He's 12," Gideon said.

"You were already taping mirrors to your runners at 12, and peering up girls skirts," Clara reminded him.

"That was my idea, because I never wore skirts so I didn't have to worry," Marlene admitted, snickering a little. "And, um. Sorry to disappoint, but we aren't planning on any babies just yet." Yet. The word felt heavy on her tongue, and she turned a little pink and looked at Gideon's mother instead of at him. She hadn't meant to say _yet_.

"Oh? Not _yet_ , hmm?" Clara teased with a smile. "Just be careful, you two," she said, as Gideon made a face at her. "And stop looking at me like that Gideon, honestly. It's not as though I'm not aware of sex, is it? Your father and I have had it _at least_ three times."

"Ew, mum, ew," Gideon said, making a face.

***

**June 25, 1999**

"Oh yes," Clara said, a twinkle in her eye. "I _figured it out_ a while ago, I'm afraid."

"Oh?" Edith said, raising her eyebrows and then shooting a look down at Marlene. "So it's just your dear mother you've left in the dark then, is it? How nice, Marlene."

"It's not like we _told_ Gid's mom. She just, uh. Found out," Marlene mumbled, and then spotted some of the guys across the room. Waving at them desperately, Marlene added, "Look, there are lots of friends we want to get photos with. We'll see you later, all right?"

Edith looked as though she wanted to saw something else, but Clara cut her off before she had the chance. "Yes, yes, go on, then. Edith and I will have a little catch-up, hmm?"

At that, Marlene dragged Gideon away towards their friends and, as soon as they were out of hearing range, muttered, "Bloody fuck. They're probably standing there planning our wedding. Lovely."

Gideon blanched. "I, well. They're mums, I suppose it's what they do? You'll probably do the same thing some day."

"I won't. I'm not going to be that sort of mother," Marlene said vehemently. "I'm going to be the sort of mother that kids actually _like_."

"You'll have a girly-girl princess, I'll bet. A daughter just like your own mum," Gideon teased, though his voice was tense. He was forcibly having to stop himself from saying things like 'we'll have a' and 'our daughter will be'... It made him really uneasy. Were they getting too serious?

"Oh, I will, will I?" Marlene snorted, and leaned in to kiss him. "You look weird. Relax, will you? Like you said. They're mums. That's what they do."

"Yea," Gideon said distractedly, still mulling things over in his head. He didn't like thinking like this. He didn't like thinking about giving up Marlene. But what if... what if she had all these sorts of expectations, _like_ marriage, and _babies_ and nine to five workdays complete with a golden retriever and white picket fence? Fuck, there was _nothing_ traditional about what Gideon was planning on doing for a living, and Marlene knew that, certainly.

He swallowed. Maybe... they were still young. Was it a good thing to be so settled with one another? Perhaps... perhaps they needed more experience. Perhaps they ought to _enjoy_ their youth rather than being saddled down with one another.

Marlene, for her part, was having none of those doubts. She didn't know exactly what she and Gid would end up doing right away, or even over the next five years, but the idea of _too serious_ hadn't crossed her mind. She wasn't thinking about things like marriage, at least not concretely, but in the back of her head, she sort of thought that was where they were heading.

Now, though, she was just relieved to be away from her parents and with her friends again. She punched Stubby in the arm and grinned at the others as her and Gid reached them. "Hey guys! Feeling free?"

"Free _bird_ ," Stubby answered with the idiot grin he always wore when Marlene was present. He glanced at Gideon and frowned. "What's up his arse?" he asked.

"Our collective mothers, that's what. Just got caught," Marlene admitted, shrugging a little. "Ah, well. It's an event worth celebrating, right? Whoever thought a craggy lot like us would graduate?"

"Mmm, yea. Craggy," Gideon said.

Stubby raised his eyebrows at Marlene. "You sure he's just thinking about your collective mums, then?"

"You can talk _to_ him, you know, instead of to me about him. You want to know what he's thinking, ask him," Marlene instructed him tersely. She was a little sick of the way Stubby acted when she was around, especially considering Stubby had known about her and Gid for over two years now. There was no reason for him to be a git.

"Fine. Gideon. Hey, Gid." Stubby snapped his fingers in front of Gideon's face, causing the other boy to look at him confused. "You look like you're off on another planet, mate."

"Do I?" Gideon asked. "Just thinking, I guess. I dunno. I'm going over... erm. Be right back." He turned and started walking away from the small group, although it wasn't very apparent where he was headed.

Marlene shrugged at Stubby and Leroy, who was quiet as ever, and then followed Gideon, grabbing his arm to turn him around once she caught up with him. She didn't know what was going on, but it was obvious that _something_ was.

"Hey, Gid. What's going on?" Marlene asked softly, worried. "If you're still fussed about our parents, just don't even worry about it. I mean, we're young. We have ages to decide what we want to do, right? It has nothing to do with them."

Gideon, oddly, felt like he was about to cry. "Yea, we are young, aren't we?"

"Yeah. We are. I don't... I don't understand what's wrong," Marlene said, any worry in her voice about Gideon's weird behaviour coming out masked in annoyance. "Will you drop the cryptic rubbish, stop being so girly, and tell me what's going on?"

"Well. Um. Do you think that maybe we're a little... _too_ serious? I mean, do you see us getting married, and popping out babies, and things like that?"

"Well, yeah. Someday," Marlene answered honestly, searching Gideon's face for clues as to what he might be thinking. Marlene wasn't sure exactly what she saw there, but whatever it was had her hurrying on and explaining herself. "But I don't think it's _too_ anything. There are no other Gid and Kinnys out there to measure up against a too serious or not serious enough scale, Gid. Whatever happens with us is what happens. Don't you think?"

Gideon frowned, and couldn't help it. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Maybe we should. Take a break. Or something."

"What? Why?" Marlene said, and tightened her grip on his arm. This was supposed to be a good day. It was supposed to be the day they all stepped into the future as adults. It hurt thinking that Gideon didn't want to take that step with her, but Marlene was determined to put pride on the back burner this time. Gideon was more important to her than hurt pride.

"Because, you know, we've still got the rest of our lives ahead of us, and we're young and I just... I don't think we should hold one another back from having other sorts of... I dunno, experiences, and relationships and... the typical shit that you _do_ as you grow up. You know?" Gideon wiped his face with the sleeve of his robe. "I don't want you to hate me someday, because we decide to get married in a couple years, and then have kids, and just... end up wasting away and hating _one another_ because we haven't gotten anything out of life. I wouldn't be able to stand that, Kin. I love you too much. You're my best friend, for Christ's sake."

"That's stupid. _You're_ stupid. I would never, ever hate you, Gideon," Marlene said shakily, panicking. He was breaking up with her. He couldn't be, but he _was_. "Don't do this. We don't... we don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Gideon, you know that. You know I'm not the sort of girl who would ever rush you. I just, we've been together so long now and I don't even remember what it's like to not have you, Gid, so don't, please, don't do this."

"That's even more of a reason," Gideon said. "We should be able to function without one another. I should be Gideon, and you should be Marlene. We shouldn't be this, like, collective thing. The relationship is going to suck our identities out from under us, and no one'll remember a time when it wasn't 'Gideon and Marlene'. Kin, we really... We have to do this. We do."

"No we don't!" Marlene insisted, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her face against his neck. She just breathed in the smell of him for a moment, terrified that no matter what she said, this would be the last time she'd be allowed to do this. After a long moment of squeezing her eyes shut so tightly it hurt in order to unsuccessfully hold back tears, Marlene choked out, "I love you. We love each other. We shouldn't be doing this. We're happy together."

"Kin, I'm sorry. And I love you too, more than words could properly express, but we _need_ this. God. Please don't hate me for this, _please_." Gideon was pleading with her to understand why he was doing this. Why it was the best thing for them. He'd rather lose her this way, now, and still have her in his life, than lose her 10 years down the road, resenting one another.

"Shut up. You shut your fat mouth, Gideon Prewett," Marlene said, pushing him away, suddenly angry. "You don't get to say that, not now. No more I love yous. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this."

"I can't help that I love you, you tart," he spat back. "That's why I'm _doing_ this. I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"Shut up!" Marlene shouted, and then threw a hard, close-fisted punch right into Gideon's mouth. She knew how to hit. Gideon had taught her himself when they were younger. She wasn't surprised when his lip started bleeding. After a moment of listening to her ears ring in the stunned silence, Marlene took a deep breath and her face crumpled. She ran from the room, tears streaming down her face.

She wanted to be alone and she'd hit anyone who came near her.

Most everyone in the room was watching them at that point, Stubby included, who saw this as his chance to finally get in between Gideon and Marlene. Gideon had gone knowingly behind his back and taken all possibilities with Marlene away from him two and a half years ago. He frowned at Gideon, who, frankly, looked pathetic, crying and bleeding and _stupid_ enough to let her go.

Stubby ran after her. Someone needed to.

***

**September 24, 2004**

The tattoo had hurt rather more than Marlene had thought it would, but nevertheless, she couldn't stop laughing. She was still buzzed and it was all too funny, the tattoo and the place she'd gotten it and what it said and how could they be out of alcohol?

"There's no more," Marlene said between giggles from her position hanging off of Gideon's shoulder. "We ran out like, _hours_ ago. I think we need weed. Do you have any, Mr. Gideon Was Here?"

"Weed? Weed at home, I s-suppose Kinny, but none in my pockets and I _can't_ believe you actually put my name on your arse." Gideon laughed and waggled his eyebrows at her as best he could.

"Well why _not_?" Marlene asked, flailing her arms grandly and beginning to steer them in the direction of Gideon's house. "You were there. You were there this time, and you were the first one there, and so far you're the _only_ one who's ever been there. Who else's name would I put on my arse?"

"I'm really the only person you've shagged, Kinny-Kin-Kin?" Gideon asked, singsonging her name.

"Who else would I shag? Stubby?" Marlene snorted. "Of course you are. Though it's not like you can say the same about me, is it, my slutty little Giddy-face?"

Gideon flushed. "The conversation isn't about me, it's about _you_ and your _arse_ ," he said. "And they fact that no one is... what's that stupid fucking expression? Tappin' it!"

"If anyone tried to tap my arse, I'd punch them," Marlene told him earnestly. "It's too fucking sore to tap right now. Even the _thought_ of it makes me wince!"

"Aw, that's too bad," Gideon said, putting on a pout. "I bet that, in the grand scheme of things, you'd probably like to be tapped again seeing as it's been, what? How many years now, Kin?"

"Too many, that's how many," Marlene said a little wistfully. "I tried dating that fellow, wossface, but he wrote me a poem that was really just flowery language for how badly he wanted to schtupp me, so I dumped him. You would never write me a poem to convince me to sleep with you, would you Gid?"

"I would never write a poem period," Gideon answered honestly. "And besides, if I wanted to sleep with you, I'd imagine all I'd have to do is ask."

"Gideon!" Marlene gasped, blushing a little because, well, it was pretty much true. It wasn't like she'd just lie down and give herself up without question, but it wouldn't take much. It was Gideon, after all. She'd stopped trying to fool herself when, two years after Gideon had broken it off in favour of _friendship_ , she _still_ had to remind herself not to kiss him. It was a bit pathetic, really, but they'd managed now for five years, and Marlene was getting really good at pretending. She almost didn't think about him at all anymore, except when drunk. Or when he said things like that.

"What?" Gideon asked. "I mean, I know it's been five years, Kinny, but tell me the truth. Do you still _love me_? Like _that_?"

"Don't be stupid," Marlene said evasively, and then let go of him, hurrying towards his house and only limping a little because of her tattoo. "It's freezing. Walk faster, shit head. I long for the cozy heated warmth of Molly's basement!"

"You're not answering me!" Gideon said. "It's a simple yes or no question, Kin. Do you still love me?"

"I'm not answering because it's not a fair question," Marlene said, and the fact that the alcohol had certainly loosened her tongue didn't even have time to register before she was rambling on. "I mean, a girl's heart can only stand so much, Gideon. First you dump me, then you expect me to be friends with you, just like we used to be, even though you're screwing any bird who'll have you, and _then_ , five years later, you ask me if I still love you? You never take any risks with _your_ heart, and I take all sorts of them with mine, and it's not fair."

"Well, I love you then," Gideon said honestly. "That's a risk, isn't it? Answering the question won't kill you."

"It's not a risk if it isn't true!" Marlene shouted, balling her hands into fists angrily. "Fuck, Gid! You don't get to say that to me. You lost your right to say it when you dumped me at grad, not that you listened to me then. You never fucking _listen_ to me!"

"I lost my right to say it?" Gideon questioned, furrowing his eyebrows. "What _right_ do you have to tell me what I do and don't feel, Marlene? Fuck you. Fuck me for not being able to get you out of my head and for shagging anything with a cunt to try and forget you, for hurting you, for whatever I've done, but _fuck you_ for thinking you can tell me that I don't love you."

"We're supposed to be adults now. For Christ's sake, I'm 23. This is kid stuff. We didn't... we didn't even know what love _was_ back then," Marlene said, finally saying out loud the things she'd been placating herself with in her head for years. "We were each other's firsts. So what. Big deal. We'll get over it. We're friends now, and things are fine, they're _finally fine_ , and God damn it, Gideon, don't do this to me again."

She hadn't meant to say that, hadn't intended to start crying again. Alcohol always made her rash and emotional, and she was rash and emotional enough while sober. Marlene covered her eyes with the heels of her hands and took a shaky breath, wishing she wasn't so stupidly obvious all the time so he wouldn't get to know he could still make her cry.

Gideon grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from her eyes. "Marlene," he said softly. "Please... do you love me?"

"Of course I do. I just tattooed 'Gideon was here' on my bloody arse," Marlene wailed and tried unsuccessfully to pull herself out of his grasp. Too close. Bad idea. Mistake, mistake, mistake.

Gideon placed his hands on either side of her face, and kissed her.

"No," Marlene said into his mouth, and then realized she'd have to break the kiss if she wanted to say anything to him. She pulled back a few inches and was surprised to see one hand was resting comfortably against his chest, and the other was curling up around his neck. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried not to get caught up in how badly she wanted this.

"No," she said again, trying to sound firm. "Not unless you really mean it. I can't, Gideon. Not if it isn't for real. If you're just drunk and horny, you can go home and call Penelope Taylor and leave me out of it. You understand?"

"What is it with you and Penny? She's a really nice bird. You'd like her if you got to know her." Gideon cleared his throat at the look that Marlene was giving him. "I mean it. I really, _really_ mean it, Kinny. I've missed you so much. I was a fucking idiot... I should've never... I mean, _five years_ and you're _still_ the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing before I fall asleep. Even with another bird on my arm."

Marlene wiped at the tear tracks on her face. It was only late September, but it was cold enough at nights by now that the dampness on her cheeks were uncomfortably chilled. Sniffling a little, Marlene tried not to sound too hopeful as she asked, "You're serious? You _swear_ on your _brother_ that you're serious?"

"Yes. And on Molly, and my mother and my father if you insist. Marlene," he said, dropping his voice to an almost whisper and looking her straight in the eyes. "I want to be with you. I want to be with you and _only_ you. I kick myself in the arse everyday for giving up what I could've had with you since we graduated." He bit his lip. "You were right, then. We were happy together. We loved each other. I completely fucked it up."

"Yeah. You did. And you're lucky I'm so pathetically head over heels for you or else it would've been a permanent sort of fuck up, especially because it took you five years to figure it out," Marlene said, genuine hurt plain in her voice. Pressing her forehead against his, she closed her eyes and breathed him in. Gideon and alcohol, but mostly just Gideon, and she hadn't been this close to him in ages and she was going to start crying again if they didn't do something soon. "Can we go back to your house now?"

Gideon kissed her nose lightly. "Yes," he said.

***

**October 2, 2004**

Bundled up in one of Gideon's winter jackets, Marlene pulled her toque down over her ears and called over her shoulder, "You know, I think all the good skipping stones are gone. We must've thrown them all in over the years. Have you found any yet?"

"No," Gideon answered. "Not that it matters, really. I'd rather keep my hands in my pockets. It's freezing." Gideon was nervous. In fact, he was scared shitless. He fingered the ring box in his jacket pocket and took a deep breath. It was what he wanted to do, that much he had figured out. She was, without a doubt, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Walking back over to him, she wriggled her fingers up underneath the bottom of his jacket, pressing her cold hands into the warm skin of his belly as she attempted to distract him with a kiss. "Freezing indeed. It's barely even October. How ridiculous is this weather, hey?"

"Pretty ridiculous," he agreed, jumping a little at the cold feeling of her hands. "But the weather is always weird here." He licked his lips, trying to work up the gumption to ask the question he wanted so badly to ask.

"Okay, what's going on, Gid?" Marlene said, squinting at him. There was something bugging him, but she didn't know what, and it put her on her guard. She still wasn't completely comfortable with the way things were, no matter how happy it made her. He'd just left so suddenly last time and with no previous warning, it was almost like she was just waiting for him to do it again. It scared her. She wasn't sure how she'd handle it if he left her again.

"I just. I wanted to ask you something," he answered slowly, holding the ring box tightly in his hand.

Trying to keep things casual, Marlene smiled and leaned in close, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Can I guess? You're going to ask if I can still do the splits, right? I can. Sort of. I'll show you some time. Or maybe you were going to ask if... I would be okay with you getting a tattoo that says 'Many have been here, but Marlene's the only one that matters', eh? And the answer to that one is a big, fat _yes_."

Gideon snorted. Smiling widely, and more sure than ever, he said, "No, it's a - well it's a different sort of question entirely." Still smiling, Gideon decided that he might as well do this properly. He got down on one knee. He pulled out the ring box, popping it open. "Marlene Yvonne McKinnon, it might have taken me five years to realize it, but later is better than never, right? We're tailor-made for one another Kinny. I love you. Marry me?"

Marlene blinked down at him, and then at the ring, and then back at him again. Panic started to creep up her spine, hot and completely irrational, and she felt her breath come faster and faster. He looked so sincere and so honest and so... and so in love with her, and there was no reason for Marlene to panic, but she just wasn't ready for a step like this, not when she still couldn't quite trust him, not when she still wasn't quite sure if they were solid yet. Not yet. She wanted so badly to scream yes and kiss him and live happily ever after, but she couldn't, not _yet_.

"Gideon..." she started, but then choked and stopped, taking a step back and sucking in deep breaths of air. She felt like all the oxygen in the whole world was avoiding her lungs right now, because she was breathing but not quite getting any air.

Gideon's smile faltered. "M-Marlene?" he questioned. "I mean." His heart was pounding in his chest. She wouldn't... she couldn't say _no_... could she?

"Oh God," Marlene gasped, and eyes wide with horror, shook her head at him. "I can't. I can't, Gideon, I can't. Why did you... _why_ did you _ask_? We've only just started again. Things aren't even back to how they _were_ and _why_ would you ask _now_? I... no. I just can't."

Gideon felt all the warmth drain from his face. "I. You're serious? I just told you when I asked you _why_ ," he said, getting to his feet. "What more do you want? I've given you every minute of every day for the last two weeks, trying to prove to you that we can make this work, and you're, what? Trying to get back at me for graduation? Trying to make me feel the same sort of heartbreak?"

"No," Marlene said, backing away from him some more, shaking her head. "Gideon, you idiot! You can't ever be happy with what you have, can you? First you thought we'd end up resenting each other and so you push me away, and then now, now that _you_ have what _you_ want, you want to rush things. Well it doesn't work like that! I waited for you for five years, and in two weeks I'm supposed to forget all that? Just because I love you doesn't mean I've forgotten what it was like."

"I'm not trying to make you forget! You're twisting this around, Marlene! This was supposed to be right! This _feels_ right. You were supposed to throw your arms around me, and scream yes and we could plan a ridiculous wedding that would irritate the hell out of our parents and _fuck_ , I can't do anything right, can I?"

"I can't do this. I can't do this right now," Marlene said, stumbling over the rocks and away from Gideon. It hurt too much to look at him. She'd thrown away happily ever after because she thought he was just being selfish and unfair, and already she thought she was making a mistake, but it was too late to change her mind. At least this time it was her fault. "I want that, you know. I always have. I _always_ wanted that with you. But I just can't, not now. I don't even know what you're thinking right now, Gid, and it scares me. I... I'll talk to you later."

Gideon took a deep breath. "If you leave Marlene, I don't know how..." he paused. "I don' t think we'll be doing this again."

She didn't even want to _talk_ about it rationally. She just wanted to run away.

She always ran away.

This was it. This was _it_. He was giving her an ultimatum, and even though she wanted to run back down that hill and kiss him silly and say yes, she just couldn't. At least this time she would have the small comfort of knowing it was all her fault. At least this time she knew what to expect, knew that they were done, really done. No more reason to hope or wait.

"I'll talk to you later, Gideon," she said again, and started to run. She would just keep running. She'd run all the way to Stubby's house. He'd help put her back together again. He'd helped last time.

Gideon watched her go and couldn't believe his eyes. He'd ruined his last chance with two words. He sat down on the rocks and cried, not moving until Fabian and Arthur came looking for him several hours later.

He didn't tell them why he'd been there, or what had happened. He didn't mention Marlene; he wouldn't. She was his friend, and that was it, not a wife, a fiancée, a girlfriend, or lover. She was just a friend.

Just a friend.


	3. First Kisses (October 16th, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius' first snog results in a hospital trip, another incident needing ice is relived, and poor Remus, bless him, is anything but a pansy.

The sun was setting, orange burning through the dusty windows of the Potter's seldom used basement. Seldom used, that was, unless their son, James, was home from school for a weekend. On those occasions it became the habitat for throngs of teenagers from across the countryside, and when Sunday evening came and went, Rachel Potter always found herself facing the less than pleasant task of cleaning up after them all. Crisp wrappers, pizza boxes, empty and half-filled glasses of unidentifiable liquids, blankets, pillows, and (never failing) a pair of Sirius Black's underpants.

That night, Rachel Potter and her husband were not even home, busy attending a social party with their church group, and their son and his mates had claimed the basement theirs for that Saturday evening; a time to smoke, a time to drink, and a time to talk about things that they wouldn't otherwise discuss.

James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Hestia, Alice, Frank and Kingsley had situated themselves in a circle and were currently sharing one of Sirius' "special occasion" joints, that is, a fat Rasta-man doobie that had the lot of them giggling after one hit. Everyone seemed fair game for everything, really, and it was the orange hue, relaxed atmosphere and a serious lack of socks that caused Sirius to ask:

"Hey, hey guys. Who was your first kiss?"

James grinned rakishly at Lily and proudly declared, "Lily Evans, when we were 11. I kissed her and she pushed me in a lake. There was also a goat involved."

The grandeur of this statement was completely destroyed by the besotted smile that accompanied it, and Kingsley couldn't help but snort. James' ridiculous crush always amused him, though he didn't think Lily would be able to say the same.

"Mine was with this annoying sort of girl named Marietta," Kingsley admitted. "She was one of my ma's friends' daughters, and we tongue kissed behind the couch."

"Sexy," Sirius commented. "Mine was Hes over there, the little mite. Ravaged me in James' tree house and then pushed me out. Scandal."

Remus blushed a little and looked over at Lily. He didn't think it would go over well with James if he found out what had happened between he and Lily in first year, even if it had been practically nothing at all. He wondered if perhaps he could get away with not answering.

"Well, my first kiss was Frank, and Frank's first kiss was me," Alice said brightly, giggling. "Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever heard?"

Lily snorted. "Alice, honey, any sweeter and we'd all throw up." She winked. "Mine _was_ James, but since it was only a peck, I don't think it really counts. My first _real_ kiss was with a boy in grade school named Eric. We were playing spin the bottle and he landed on me and decided to get carried away."

"Well, Evans, not only were you my first, you are also my only to date," James said, not feeling ashamed in the slightest about that, even though he had a feeling the others might think it pathetic. "I'm saving myself for you until I can warm your cold, cold heart. Don't fight fate, Lily!"

"I've n-never kissed anyone. Except once, a neighbour girl ch-chased me for three hours trying to give me cooties," Peter said suddenly, looking surprised at himself for speaking. "I, um. Ended up hiding in a c-closet until she went home."

Sirius looked from James to Peter as though unsure of whom he should poke fun at. He settled for laughing loudly in spite of both of them, and then said, "Ok, who's left? Hestia, who was yours?"

Hestia stuck out her tongue. "You know perfectly well that it was Gideon Prewett, you imp." When everyone looked at her in surprise, she shrugged, saying, "What? I had a _huge_ crush on him. Anyone with two eyes would've seen that. I followed him around for like, three days, and then when he finally felt the time for politeness had passed, he asked me what the fuck was wrong. So I kissed him. And ran away. I still can't look him in the eyes." She sighed dramatically.

"Hestia," Lily said, "You're seven years younger than him. Weren't you like, up to his knees then?"

Hestia laughed. "Pretty much. I ran and jumped into his arms, to make it 'romantic'. He dropped me like a sack of potatoes. Oh the woes of an eight-year-old."

"Cor, started giving it away for free real young, didn't you?" James teased, flicking a piece of lint in Hestia's direction.

"James!" Remus scolded. "Don't be rude!"

Sirius stopped when he heard Remus' voice. He grinned, very, VERY widely. "Oh, Remus?" he asked in a singsong voice.

Remus realized his mistake a moment too late. He should know by now to keep his head down and not draw attention to himself. Especially when Sirius has an audience. Well. There wasn't much he could do about it now. Except procrastinate.

"What, Sirius?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"Who was your first kiss?" Sirius questioned with mock sweetness.

Remus pointedly did not look at Lily. Or James. "I... I don't think it'd be proper to say."

"Oh come _on_ ," James snorted. "You're kidding, right? You can't actually think that'll work. You need to loosen up."

With that, James passed Remus a roach and a lighter.

Lily sensed quickly what Remus' answer would be; she had thought so at the time, if she hadn't said it, and then attempted to take control of the situation. Slapping James on the arm she said with a huff, "Honestly, James! Let him be. He doesn't have to say if he doesn't want to. And treat him like a friend, not a source of entertainment."

Remus smiled gratefully at her, and then dutifully picked up the roach and re-lit it. He had an odd talent for getting the most out of roaches without burning himself.

"I'm not treating him like entertainment. It's only fair, Lils, the rest of us told," James said diplomatically. "And anyway, Peter's already said he's never kissed anyone, so if that's the problem, there's no point hiding it. Come on, Rem. Spill the beans."

Sirius knew what Remus needed. Remus just needed a little coaxing from him. Remus _never_ said no to him, ever in the history of knowing him. It was like he had magical powers when it came to getting Remus to do what he wanted.

A little scary, really.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeemus," Sirius pleaded, wibbling his bottom lip. "Come ooon. Everybody else told. Why can't you? Was the bird really ugly or something? Because that's okay, you know."

Remus gave Sirius a pained sort of look. He was doomed now. Realizing that his wince might be misinterpreted by Lily, however, he quickly answered, "No. She was very pretty. Is. Pretty. It's not her, all right? It's just... circumstances."

"Circumstances like what? We wouldn't know her if she's still lurking around Stoke Fleming, would we?" Sirius debated. "You're being a pansy."

"Sirius! I'm not..." Remus started, and then choked out a strangled sounding laugh. "I'm not a pansy. And she isn't from Stoke Fleming. I don't suppose there's any way you might just let it go?"

"It's not that big of a deal, Remus," Kingsley piped up. "It's not like it's a life changing question or something."

"Precisely!" Sirius exclaimed. "It was just a kiss, Remus. I'll bet yours didn't result in a broken leg from a six-foot fall, huh?"

"No. It wasn't painful. Not then, anyway," Remus said, sighing. Everyone was watching him, it felt like, and even if some looked sympathetic (like Lily and Alice), he didn't fool himself into thinking anyone would be able to distract Sirius once he got his mind set on something. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself for the worst. "Well then. It was Lily."

The entire room went completely quiet.

"I. What?" Sirius asked, a bit baffled.

James' jaw was too busy meeting the carpet to form any actual, coherent sounds, and so Remus plunged ahead, hoping to take advantage of the silence to explain.

"It was first year. We went on a date. Just one. It wasn't really all that big of a deal, you know? I mean, it was nice and all, but... Lily and I... it wasn't nice like that, and that's why I didn't want to say anything. Because I knew it would get blown out of proportion. James, please don't kill me. I don't like her, I swear. I mean, I do. Lily, of course I like you. I just... not like... ah. Well. Well, there it is."

"I can vouch," Hestia chipped in tentatively. "I mean, you know. She came home and demanded we watch Titanic. There was no gushing."

"There was some platonic gushing," Lily replied, rolling her eyes.

Remus smiled a little in Lily's direction, but thought it probably wasn't the wisest move and immediately schooled his face back into something more apologetic. "Er, James? Maybe you could... say something. You don't hate me, do you?"

"You. You kissed Lily. My Lily. Oh _Moony_ , how _could_ you! I thought we were _friends_ ," James wailed.

James looked a little heartbroken, and Remus felt bad about being glad for that. Nonetheless, heartbroken was less likely to hurt him than murderous, so he let out the breath he'd been holding.

Suddenly, James' expression changed and he asked, "What did she taste like? Could you smell her hair? Oh, I should ask you that later, shouldn't I? I can't believe you've been keeping this from me."

Lily looked at James with incredulity before smacking him upside the head. "I _hope_ you _bruise_ ," she growled through gritted teeth.

"What? God. I just... I'm _curious_ , all right?" James said pleadingly. "I won't ask later, if it'll earn me brownie points."

"Err, you're a bit weird, mate," Kingsley said honestly, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Did I ever tell you that?"

"Dozens of times," James said dismissively, smiling again. "I can't help it. I love Lily so."

"Shut up, Potter," Lily answered.

"Okay," James said agreeably.

Remus blinked, shocked at how quickly James' anger had diffused. And once again, a little awed by the depth of his infatuation with Lily. "Err, right then. So. That's that. You aren't... mad or anything, James?"

"Should I be? You don't fancy her and she doesn't fancy you," James said.

"Well. No. It's good that you're not mad. I just... I'm surprised you're being so reasonable. Or, well, your obsession with Lily notwithstanding," Remus replied.

"Likewise," Lily interjected. "I figured that Remus would be a bloody pulp by now. I'm disappointed, James."

"I can beat him up, if you'd like!" James said quickly. "I just... he is one of my mates, you know. And a rather stringy fellow. Not really all that much as far as competition goes."

Still off in a daze and seemingly immune to the conversation going on around him, Sirius suddenly squeaked (embarrassingly), "You kissed _Evans_?"

"What?" Remus asked, confused and a little startled by Sirius' sudden question, and a little stung by James' statement, however true it likely was. "I already said that I did."

"That was a little high-pitched there, mate," Kingsley said, raising his eyebrows at Frank. "Twist your nuts or something?"

"The last time I heard Sirius squeak like that, actually," Hestia said, "was when Stubby Boardman nailed him in the bollocks with that baseball, remember? He was on ice for _weeks_. Lucky his cock still functions really."

Peter tittered at that, going largely unnoticed as he covered his mouth to hide a twitchy grin. Words like 'cock' still made him blush.

"Can we not talk about Sirius' cock or kissing Lily?" James suggested. "Neither are really subjects I want to hear about."

"But Jaaamie," Hestia whined. "You were _there_. You saw that hit. And it was purely by accident!"

Snapping back into reality, Sirius said, "Bullshit. Stubby did it on purpose because I broke his fucking bike tire. Asshole."

"It was definitely on purpose!" James said, siding with his best mate. "And he wasn't icing for weeks. It was only a few days."

"It looked like an accident to me," Kingsley said. "Or at least hitting him in the bollocks was. No one has aim that perfect from that far away."

Remus sighed, relieved as the conversation carried on around him. He was glad to be out of the spotlight. Turning to face Lily, who'd been quiet for a while, he smiled tentatively. It could've gone a lot worse, really. A thought occurred to Remus, so he leaned forward and smiled at her, saying, "You went inside and just had to put on Titanic, did you? Did you cry?"

Lily stuck out her tongue. "Yes. And it was all your fault."


	4. The Trouble With Violinists (December 17th, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James is haunted by his past dealings with goats, Remus is shocked beyond all reason quite frankly, and Sirius is more than ready to button up his shirt and leave.

"These things are so fucking _long_ ," James whispered to Sirius and sighed noisily before tipping back in his chair to make a face at Lily, who was seated a few tables over. His mother thwapped him upside the head mid-eyebrow wiggle and he quickly thunked all four legs of the chair back onto the floor and smiled unrepentantly at his mother.

The band had done three songs already which meant that they were finally on their last and then there would be cookies and coffee set out for people to take with them before going home for the holidays. James loved Christmas, he always had, and he couldn't wait to get back to Devon Street. Sirius would come over and help decorate the tree and they'd both work to convince James' parents to let them have a New Years party. They had to say yes because James had already invited everyone. The final note sounded and the silence before the applause brought James out of his reverie.

"Finally," he said, elbowing Sirius in the side. "All the closer to you being trapped in the same breathing space as The Evil Screeching Preaching Mega Monster Bitch."

"Lovely use of adjectives," Sirius noted with amusement, eyes still lingering on the band's violinist. He had dirty blond hair that stretched slightly past his shoulders --hair, Sirius decided, that he would desperately like to run his fingers through-- and a smile that lit up the room. He was also amazingly talented, Sirius observed, grin having been plastered on his face for a good half an hour. He couldn't take his eyes off the man. He was beautiful.

Sirius followed him out of the room while James was rambling; the violinist turned his head and caught Sirius' eye. Sirius blushed. The violinist raised an eyebrow, smirked, and then winked.

Sirius swallowed, and bit his lip bashfully. The man nodded toward the hall, and winked again.

"James, James shut up a moment," Sirius interrupted, breaking his mate's one-sided conversation.

"What?" James asked.

"Honey, we're going to go talk to the Shacklebolts. We haven't seen them in ages," James' mum said, leaning down to kiss James on the cheek.

With a roll of his eyes that was mostly for show, James replied, "Okay, Mum. I'll be about." As soon as she and his father left, he turned back to Sirius and asked again, "What?"

The violinist had stopped to talk to Professor Dumbledore, and Sirius bit his lip again. "See the blond bloke chatting up Dumbles?"

"Yeah, what about him?" James asked carefully, trying to stare as unobtrusively as possible. He had a feeling what Sirius was going to say, though, and he did a quick sweep of the room, noting that Sirius' parents were in the far corner talking to the Rookwoods while Regulus and Augustus stood nearby. James could feel the this-is-our-good-child-look-how-brainwashed-he-is vibes from here.

"He nodded for me to meet him in the hallway," Sirius replied, trying not to sound too excited at the prospect.

"Mate," James said, wrinkling his nose. "Ah, what about Moony?"

Sirius frowned and glanced to where Remus was standing, chatting with Professor McGonagall. "What about him?" Inside he churned awkwardly for a moment, and fought the urge to feel guilty. He didn't have anything to feel guilty about, after all, because Remus was a crush and nothing else. Or that's what Sirius decided to tell himself anyhow.

"You know _what_ ," he said in reference to Sirius' long-standing crush. James had been egging him on to do something about it for months, but the daft prat just would _not_ listen to reason. "Whatever. You'll be in the broom closet around the corner, I assume?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes," he said, then made to leave. "Keep an eye out for The Bitch and Company, will you? And um, James?"

"What, Pads?"

"Don't tell Remus, will you?" Sirius insisted, a little worriedly. Remus still didn't even know he was half-poof; Sirius wasn't sure how exactly he'd react to knowing that one of his mates was in a closet with another bloke.

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," he replied, getting to his feet with the intention of finding Lily.

He watched Sirius disappear into the hallway and he watched the bloke chatting with Dumbledore follow him a moment later. He was almost jealous of Sirius, just because it was so easy for him. It only took a look, just one look. James, however, had known Lily since they were eleven and he still felt like he was nowhere with her, no matter how hard he tried. Things had been better lately, though. He hadn't been being as stupid, he supposed. At any rate, he'd invited her to his New Years party and she hadn't said no. She hadn't said yes yet either, but he still had hope.

Slinking up behind Lily, he leaned in and whispered, "I'm going to miss you over the holidays, Evans. You've got to give me _something_ to look forward to. How about New Years then?"

Lily rolled her eyes and half-sighed, but a smile crept onto her lips. "What's in it for me, Potter?" she asked quietly, turning away from her parents and the conversation they'd been having with the Joneses.

James smiled. "Anything you want, you know that. Name your price."

Lily thought hard for a moment. "Well," she started, reasonably, "what do you have?"

With a laugh, James began ticking off things on his hands. "Free alcohol. Free weed. Free _me_. Your friends. That is, Hestia, Alice, and Emmeline are coming. So are the boys. It's going to be a grand old time. No pressure, I promise. Just fun."

"You know how I appreciate free weed," Lily said, eyes glimmering, smiling naughtily in a way she knew perfectly well made James weak at the knees. "I'll go."

James theatrically clutched at his chest, though the quickening of his heart rate wasn't feigned at all. He was ecstatic. "You have made my _year_. And probably next, too," he said loudly, swooning. His dramatics caught the eye of Lily's parents and he quickly straightened up, leaning forward politely and extending his hand. "Hello. I'm James Potter. Pleasure to meet you."

***

Sirius pressed the violinist --whose name happened to be Neil-- roughly against the closet wall, diving into his mouth. A hand flew to the dirty blond hair, which was as soft as Sirius had anticipated, his cock getting harder and harder. He moaned into the kiss, closing the distance between them so that their erections rubbed together through the fabric of their trousers.

"Enthusiasm," Neil said between rough kisses, "is such a turn on."

He slid one hand up the front of Sirius' shirt to tweak a nipple and dropped the other to squeeze his arse, throwing his weight into him until he was pinning Sirius to the other wall.

"You'll find I'm just full of it," Sirius said breathlessly, biting and sucking Neil's neck gruffly, unbuttoning his shirt, tempted to say fuck it and rip off the buttons.

"Mm. Can't wait," Neil murmured and pressed his hips into Sirius', moving to caress Sirius' sides with his hands.

Nibbling on Neil's ear, Sirius said, "Your hands are in all the right places, doing all the right things."

Neil laughed softly, his voice gravely as he leaned into Sirius a little more before stepping back and dropping his hands to the waistband of his own trousers, popping the top button. "Why don't you put that fantastic mouth of yours to work, and then I can really show you how good I am with my hands?"

***

"So you live in Salcombe?" John Evans asked James, skeptical of the grinning, overly eager boy.

"Yes sir, for my whole life until I came here," he answered promptly, mussing his hair to let out a bit of nervous energy. He smiled lopsidedly at Lily and added meaningfully, "Just a few blocks from the Joneses, actually."

"Oh. So you knew young Hestia growing up?" Margaret Evans asked, equally as wary of James as her husband. The boy seemed positively twitchy.

"Oh, yeah. She played footie with us sometimes, when we'd let her," he said. "Nice girl, that Hestia. So have you lived in Kingsbridge forever? I mean, I met Lily there at a Church rally when I was eleven."

John and Margaret exchanged a look. "Oh," John said, "yes, we have. Are you the James who set the goat after Lily?"

James sent a panicked look at Lily. He hadn't expected her to tell her parents about that. She was looking rather smug, though, and he had a feeling he'd be floundering on his own for a while.

"Oh. Well. I was young, you see. And you know how boys are. I'm much smarter now. Honour roll, all that. Haven't had detention in," _days_ , "ages. Ha. Ha."

***

"Where on earth did that boy get to?" Orion Black wondered, checking his watch idly. His wife was still speaking to Helena Rookwood; Regulus was standing next to him, tapping his foot.

"Dad," he said, "I want to go _home_."

"I know Reg," Orion replied. "Are you sure you haven't seen Sirius about?"

Regulus rolled his eyes. "No," he said for what felt like the millionth time. "I told you. He was talking to James when the band finished, and then he disappeared."

Agatha Black returned to her husband's side, looking irritated. " _Honestly_ ," she said, exasperated. "That woman would talk the ear off of a deaf man." Glancing around, she asked, "Where's Sirius?"

Both Orion and Regulus shrugged.

"Stupid, selfish boy," Agatha exclaimed. Sirius always seemed to be the bane of her existence. "We'll leave him. He can beg the Potters for a ride."

***

"Oh fuck," Neil moaned, his hands in Sirius' hair, nudging his bobbing head faster. He let go with one hand in order to brace himself against the shelf, not caring that he knocked a box of rags off in the process. "Faster," he grunted. "Please..."

***

"Yes, James, but a goat?" Margaret inquired, pursing her lips. "Why not just stick gum in her hair, like normal boys?"

James smiled his most charming smile and looped his arm around Lily's shoulders before saying, "Well, now that would be an insult, Ma'am. Lily is no ordinary girl. It had to be special."

Suddenly, there was a commotion a few feet away and one of the younger kids was kneeling next to a chair, puking onto the floor.

"What's going on?" a woman James assumed to be his mother asked.

"Um. I think he's sick," another boy said, teetering on his feet before collapsing into his chair.

"Have you been _drinking_? Both of you?" she asked, her voice veering deep into That Is _It_ Young Man territory. Albus appeared at her side as she was bending down to help her son. "I'm so sorry about the mess, Headmaster. I don't know _what's_ gotten into him."

"No bother. As long as he's all right, we'll just send Mr. Filch to get a mop," Albus said.

"Shit," James whispered and then turned back to Mr. and Mrs. Evans. "Ah, I've got to find a mate of mine. Excuse me. And sorry about the goat. Pleasure to meet you!"

***

Agatha scoffed at the mother of the sick boy, then smiled smugly. "Disgusting," she said. "Incapable parents, honestly, unable to manage their own children. Absolutely no concept of motherhood."

Orion nodded his agreement. "It's all in how they're raised, of course."

Regulus, walking slightly behind his parents as they made their way toward the doors and hallway, made a face. His parents were honestly idiots if they were that naive to anything he or Sirius had done. He might've been the 'good son', but he was certainly far from perfect.

Mr. Filch limped in front of them, snarling about the disgusting habits of young people, heading for the hallway closet to retrieve a mop.

"Pity him," Regulus said, quietly. He hated the smell of vomit.

"Scum," Agatha said haughtily. "Far beneath our family, Regulus."

The three Blacks walked through the door frame, and into East Portlemouth's Hall just as Argus Filch opened the broom closet door.

***

Tugging a confused Remus along behind him, James sprinted up the back stairs. "I need you to distract Filch for at least a minute, okay? Don't argue, I'll explain later," he said, figuring Sirius would rather Remus find out than the _entire school_.

"How am I supposed to distract..." Remus started, confused, but as the two of them rounded the corner, they were faced with Filch stumbling backwards away from the open closet door.

"Oh Christ," James swore softly, and then noticed the Blacks at the other end of the hall begin to turn towards the ruckus. "Buggering, sodding, fucking _Christ_."

Even more inventive swearing began to sound from the inside of the closet and Remus looked back and forth between the closet and James.

"Sirius?" he asked, his voice both resigned and worried. James nodded and winced, not tearing his eyes from the scene before him.

This was bad. It was very, very bad.

A crowd was beginning to gather around the closet.

Agatha and Orion had recognized the sound of their son's voice, and looked at one another in alarm before jogging toward and pushing through the crowd. Filch stepped back, mouth agape, and Agatha and Orion looked into the closet and gasped.

Sirius was struggling to do up his trousers, on his knees, cock still erect. Neil was doing the same, and fumbling for his shirt.

Looking up, Sirius looked directly into the eyes of his very shocked parents.

"Oh, fuck." It was all he could manage.

Remus brought a hand up to cover his mouth. _Oh fuck, indeed_ , he thought. He couldn't bear to think of how Sirius' parents would react. Anger flared in him a bit at Sirius for getting himself into these positions over girls, but most of it was directed at the Blacks for how he knew they would make Sirius feel about it.

Suddenly Filch moved and Remus' eyes widened. "It's not a girl," he gasped softly.

James snorted. "No, mate. It is _not_ a girl," he replied under his breath.

"Oh," Remus said, still watching the other man trying to get his clothes sorted out. He had an irrational desire to shout at Sirius to get _off_ his knees, but all he could do was stare. "Oh God, _his parents_."

"You disgraceful heathen!" Agatha Black screamed, grabbing Sirius by the ear and tugging him out of the closet. "Pervert! Faggot! SHAME OF MY FLESH!"

Sirius was wincing at the power of his mother's grip, and his face was burning with anger.

"It's all over your face, you disgusting, diseased _freak_!" His mother continued yelling. His father had his head in his hands. Regulus just stared with sick fascination.

Sirius looked around the crowd. His heart stopped when he saw Remus. He wanted to say, 'I'm sorry', though he wasn't sure what for. Making eye contact with Remus, Sirius was pleading for forgiveness. For understanding. It was all he could do now, because obviously Remus had seen Neil, who had just slipped out of the way without a word or a glance in Sirius' direction.

"How can I dare call you my son now, you homosexual abomination?" Agatha shrieked.

Remus was so thrown by Sirius' expression that he hardly even heard what Mrs. Black was saying. As soon as the words registered, however, he stepped forward.

"He's not a freak or an abomination," he hissed.

"That's right, so shut up, you ignorant _cow_ ," James snapped, right on Remus' heels. He moved to get between Sirius and his mother, gesturing to the cum on Sirius' cheek with a sympathetic wince before holding a hand out to his friend.

Sirius wiped his face with his hand and clamoured to his feet with James' help.

"OH!" Agatha exclaimed shrilly. "Rushing to the defence of your cock-sucking _friend_ are you? Does he do it for the both of you as well? You're all _revolting_!"

"I'll thank you _not_ to address my son that way, Agatha," James' mum, Rachel, boomed as she and her husband Leonard joined the crowd. She promptly moved to stand behind Sirius, putting a gentle, mothering hand on his shoulder. "Now what's going on?"

"Found 'em in the closet with another bloke. On his _knees_ ," Filch muttered.

Orion was still silent, but Agatha was positively mutinous. She said quite enough for the both of them, and then some.

"You are no longer a part of this family, you repugnant dishonour. Fend for yourself. As far as we're concerned, you _don'_ t exist!" Grabbing Regulus by the wrist and pushing Orion forward, Agatha turned with every intention to leave.

Sirius caught her shoulder and spun her around. "I've hated you my entire life," he said scathingly. "What you're saying isn't a punishment, you haggard bitch, it's freedom. I hope you burn in hell."

Agatha raised her hand without a word and slapped Sirius hard across the face.

"If AIDs doesn't kill you, Sirius, I will. Good-bye."

With that his family walked away from him, his father still quiet and shocked, his brother confused, glancing back at Sirius desperately.

They went around the corner, and were gone.

It was quiet for a moment and Remus sent a fleeting look in Sirius' direction before averting his eyes. His stomach felt tight and twisted and he wished there were magic words to smooth it all over, though he had a feeling that even if there were, he wouldn't be the one who needed to say them.

James balled his hands into fists and wished he had something to throw at them, even if they were already out the door. His eyes were alight with fury and he angrily scrubbed both hands through his hair, before punching Sirius' arm lightly.

"Come with us for Christmas," he said gruffly.

"Oh, honey," Rachel said quickly, running a hand through Sirius' hair. Her anger at Agatha and her terrible parenting was already on the back burner when faced with the boy before her. "Of course you will."

Sirius was fairly close to tears at this point and didn't really know what to say to anyone. He managed an, "Okay," his voice thick with emotion, and after a moment of silence he just couldn't control it any longer. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he started bawling, several years worth of pent up frustration over-taking his body. He was shaking; it was uncontrollable.

Rachel looked like she wanted nothing more than to gather Sirius into her arms, but James put out an arm to stop her as Remus tentatively touched Sirius' shoulder, his face unreadable.

"Hey, come here," he said raggedly and tugged on Sirius' sleeve.

Face and eyes red, and wet, Sirius practically fell into Remus' arms, sobbing like a little child.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, pressing one hand into the small of his back, curling the other around the back of his neck. His face was set and determined as he hugged Sirius tight and resolutely ignored everyone else. They didn't matter, not compared to Sirius. In fact, Remus' heart ached with how much more Sirius mattered than anyone else.

"She's a cunt anyway, isn't she?" he said into Sirius' ear only a little awkwardly, hoping his swearing would cheer Sirius up. "You're better off without her."

"I hope so," Sirius replied, more unsure of himself than he'd ever been in his life. "I-I'm sorry. About. What she said."

"I don't care," Remus said quickly. "She doesn't know anything. You don't have to apologize for her."

Sirius pulled away from Remus slowly and reluctantly, tears gradually beginning to desist. He looked at James, at Rachel, then at his feet.

"Can we leave?" he asked tentatively.

"Got the keys right here," Mr. Potter said quickly. "We just have to get your things."

"Here, we'll go pull the car up and you boys go get your things, go on now," Rachel said, her own eyes a bit shiny and paused to brush Sirius' hair out of his face, worry lines creasing her forehead. "We'll be waiting out front."

"Thanks Mum," James said, and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek before nodding gratefully at his Dad.

He had the best parents of anyone he knew and at least Sirius had them, if his own parents were going to be giant twats. As the three boys turned to head up to get their bags, they passed Lily and her parents coming out of the dining hall.

"Er, you two go on then," he said quickly, having a feeling that Sirius would want to be red-eyed in public as little as possible.

Sirius nodded thankfully and followed Remus far and away from the biggest disaster of his life.

Her parents told her they'd bring the car around and left. Lily barely heard them. She looked quizzically at Sirius retreating back, then, turning to James asked, "What happened?"

James whistled lowly and shook his head. "I'm going to fucking kill the Blacks, that's what happened," he replied. "Fucking hell. Disowned. They've just disowned him. Christ, I shouldn't... Don't tell anyone, all right?"

Wide-eyed, Lily nodded. "Disowned? What on earth did he do to merit that?"

James stuffed his hands into his pockets uncomfortably and leaned forward confidentially as a few younger kids wandered in from the hall, whispering excitedly. Apparently they'd overheard some of it, though from the sounds of it the rumours would be fantastic. "He was giving the violinist a blow job," he said, slouching a little. "Got caught by Filch going to get a mop to clean up that kid's puke. His parents happened to be in the hall. Sorry about taking off so quickly before. I was trying to prevent, well. Exactly that. Guess I didn't."

"Sirius is _gay_?" Lily asked in incredulity.

"Shh, Lily!" James said, pulling her further up the hallway and away from the crowds of people beginning to leave. "No, he isn't. He's, well. Half. Not that it matters, though, right? For Christ's sake, he just got _disowned_."

"Of course it doesn't matter!" Lily said indignantly. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just really surprised." She ran a hand through her hair and frowned. "So what happens to him now?"

"Now? Well, he's coming with us for Christmas break. Who knows after that. Probably live with us, unless he wants to live on his own," James said. "Fuck, I sodding _hate_ his parents."

"It's not fair to him at all," Lily agreed sadly. "He's just a person like everyone else." A sudden thought occurred to her. "James, how on _earth_ will Sirius be able to finish school here?"

James blanched. "I don't know. He's one of the top students, maybe Dumbledore'll give him a scholarship or something like Remus has," he said with a frown, new worries flying through his head. "Dumbledore'll take his side. He won't make him leave just because the Blacks stop paying for him. He can't. He's got to qualify for some scholarship or another."

Sirius and Remus returned then, luggage in hand. Sirius own bag was slung over his shoulder, and he was carrying James' in his other hand. His eyes were still red, his face puffy, and his shirt was still undone.

"Ready to go?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, of course," James said, pushing off of the wall and taking his bag from Sirius. He looped an arm around Sirius' neck, feeling protective, and then turned to exchange a look with Lily. "I'll see you at New Years, right love?"

"Yes," she replied with a nod, and a small smile.

"Wicked," James replied, grinning widely, before the three of them walked outside.

They chucked their bags into the open trunk of his parents' car and piled into the back seat. It would be a bit squishy for three teenage boys, but James was glad both of his friends were coming to his house. It was better than them staying at the school because Remus couldn't afford to go home and Sirius' parents were fuckwits.

"I claim _not_ sitting in the middle," James said and quickly climbed in the driver's side.

"I'll sit in the middle," Sirius said.

The thought was comforting, to sit in between both his mates while driving somewhere that wasn't technically home. In fact, he thought bitterly as he climbed into the car after James, absolutely anything was better than home.


	5. Unconscious Molestation (December 17th, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius is drooled on, James is profane, and Remus is blissfully unaware.

It seemed that no time had passed before the winter had appeared. The sky was dull and hazy, the air was positively biting, and snowflakes twinkled in the sky, fluttering down to the already icy earth.

James, Sirius and Remus were all squashed rather uncomfortably in the back of the Potter's car, Sirius in particular who was sat in the middle with bits of scarf in his mouth and James' ski jacket puffed up against his cheek. He spluttered, trying desperately to remove the woollen material, and failed spectacularly.

Remus was asleep on his other side, head lolling, drool pooling out of his mouth and onto Sirius' sleeve. Sirius moaned with irritation and uncomfortable-ness, and looked at James with pleading, puppy dog eyes.

"Jaaammmes," he whined.

"Sorry, fixing," James said and tugged his jacket down and away from Sirius, hoping to pre-empt any truly annoying behaviour from him. He wondered, really, what was going through Sirius' head. It had been a rather last-minute decision for him to come to the Potter house for Christmas, made only because his parents and him had, well, had a rather dramatic falling out. It seemed quite permanent, which worried James a little, but Sirius didn't seem to regret it much. A movement caught his eye and James watched as Remus curled one hand up to hook a finger into the collar of Sirius' shirt, resting his palm flat against Sirius' chest and sighing a little.

"He's getting pretty cozy, isn't he?" James smirked.

Sirius made a face of discomfort. "No kidding." Sirius said, and blinked at the sleeping Remus before turning his attention to the front. "Hey, Mr. Potter, have any Cat Stevens in the car?"

"Sure do," he replied, and slid the tape in. The dreary am news radio was replaced by a hip, swinging jazz beat and Sirius grinned.

He was happy to be spending Christmas with the Potters. He honestly liked them better than his own family most of the time, nay, all of the time. They were friendly, and affectionate, and their arguments didn't end with dishes being thrown about the house. Sirius sighed. Nor did James' parents consider him a _homosexual abomination_ , or anything similar. It was frustrating as all hell, and he was still reliving the whole closet incident over and over in his head. At least now his shirt was done up, and he had a jacket on.

Sirius leaned his head back on the seat and felt Remus cuddle into him. "I wish he'd stop that. He's getting dangerously close to you know what, but I don't have the heart to wake him."

James snickered. "Aww, look at his cute little face. He's leaving smears of drool all over your shoulder."

Just then, Remus let go of Sirius' collar and slid his hand down, stopping, coincidentally, on Sirius' _you know what_ , pressing against the nipple piercing through his sweater. He turned his face in to Sirius' neck a little, making another sleepy sound.

"Looks like he heard you. Even in his sleep he likes to push your buttons. Or in this case, your nipple piercings," James laughed.

"Oh Sirius, you didn't," Mrs. Potter said, her warm voice full of affection. She was far too used to Sirius and his antics now to really be shocked anymore.

Sirius laughed awkwardly. "Er, yea Mrs. Potter, last June actually." He glared at James. He didn't want James' parents knowing that he had done something like that. "And Moony doesn't like to push my buttons. Wanker."

"Oh," James said cheerfully, "just your nipples then."

"James, stop being a pest," Mrs. Potter laughingly scolded, ever amused by her son and his relationship to Sirius. She'd never seen better friends than those, but she'd also met very few people who could argue and fight like they could. They'd certainly given each other enough cuts and bruises, most of which she'd patched up since the two of them would never go to Sirius' parents for something like that. Mrs. Potter didn't like the Blacks, not that she knew them well personally. Sure, they'd met a few times through church functions, but it was the way they treated Sirius that really bothered her. He was a good kid, really. Perhaps he was a bit wild, but he always meant well. She never understood why they couldn't just be happy with him. And _this_ time, oh what they'd done this time... Shaking her head, Mrs. Potter reached to turn the music up just a little. There was no use dwelling on frustrations that she could never change.

Remus seemed to sense the volume increase and his fingers began moving a little along with the beat. He liked jazz music, even while sleeping apparently.

"James. James, he's tapping my nipple. To Cat Stevens. James, he is morse-coding Mona Bone Jakon on my _nipple_. James." Sirius looked down at Remus, aghast. He would never be able to listen to this song again.

James giggled, high pitched and breathy. He stopped for a moment, with great effort, but then just exploded, laughing and laughing and laughing. It was just too funny.

"Shall I turn it up then?" Mr. Potter asked jovially, turning it up a little more.

The volume change didn't seem to affect Remus this time as far as the rest of the car was concerned, but he'd begun making a very soft humming noise that only Sirius could hear. It didn't last long; it was just a short, content noise against Sirius' collarbone as he continued to unknowingly brush his fingers against Sirius' piercing in his sleep.

"Nnaugh? James, why is he molesting me in my sleep? He's humming!" Sirius was a little panicked. He didn't know where Remus' fingers might be tapping next.

James just kept on giggling, unable to answer, and Remus just kept on tapping, still sleeping soundly.

The Potters chose tactfully not to reply.

Finally, James gasped out, "I don't know, I'm quite impressed. I didn't think Moony had it in him to molest anyone."

Un-needed sensations were coursing through Sirius' body and he felt his cheeks growing hot and himself becoming bothered. He couldn't help it. Remus was tapping his piercing nipple, which was _always_ oversensitive.

A familiar tingling in his pants told him that this was going nowhere good.

"PLEASEMAKEITSTOP," Sirius said loudly and breathlessly.

James quirked his eyebrows and looked at his friend. "It's not that big of a deal," James said, shrugging. "Just wake him up if it bothers you so much."

Perhaps some of Sirius' discomfort registered in Remus' subconscious because it was then that Remus dropped his hand. This would have been good development if not for the fact that it was now resting on Sirius' thigh, fingertips curled and just brushing his stomach every time he took a breath.

"We're almost there," Mr. Potter said. "Just passed the elementary school. It'll only be a minute more."

Sirius groaned in a way that was not at all appropriate. His ears felt as though they were on fire. He poked Remus in the head. "Remus! Up!" He exclaimed with desperation.

James snickered again, sounding almost like he was choking as he struggled to keep quiet.

"Hmm?" Remus mumbled incoherently, shifting closer to Sirius.

"Up, up! Get up! Off! Me!" Remus' hand was sliding dangerously close to Sirius' family jewels and he was not taking it well. "Moony! No molestation! UP!" He gave Remus a shove.

Remus slid off of Sirius, jarring awake as his friend's elbow caught him sharply in the side. "Ow! Sorry, I'm up. I didn't mean to fall asleep," he said, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He turned sleepy eyes on Sirius and frowned. "What's wrong?"

James lost his battle and succumbed to another round of hysteric giggling.

Sirius screwed up his face, blinked and frowned. "Don't fall asleep anymore. I can never listen to Mona Bone Jakon again. EVER. Life ruiner." Sirius shifted and punched James in the arm.

"Ow! Bastard!" James crowed.

"James, watch your language," Mr Potter admonished.

Remus just kept watching Sirius, concerned. "What did I do? What's wrong with Mona Bone Jakon? I thought you liked Cat Stevens?" It was then that he spotted the patch of drool on Sirius' shoulder and flushed. How utterly embarrassing. "Oh. Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll wash your jacket for you," he apologized.

"It was an error beyond droolage Moony. Far beyond." Sirius looked at him darkly.

Since it appeared that Sirius was feeling completely unhelpful, Remus raked his eyes down Sirius' body to check for any clues as to what he might have done. Remus made a strangled sort of noise as soon as his eyes landed on Sirius' lap, and he snapped his head back up to look at Sirius' face. Sirius' red face. Remus felt himself colour more darkly and he shifted away from Sirius, turning to face the window.

"I don't, um. I don't know what, well, anyway, sorry," he mumbled softly. Trying very hard not to think. Of course, as he tried not to think, vague memories of warmth beneath his hands came back to him and he hoped desperately that he hadn't, well... There was no reason to assume he had. Certainly he didn't. Certainly not.

Sirius shuddered and turned away. "Right. Yes."

"Home," Mrs. Potter said as they pulled into the drive.

Sirius was very quick to pull the handle and push James out of the car, still tangled in his seatbelt. He clamoured over his mate's body, and tore off toward the front door.

"Oi! NOT ON!" James shouted, whimpering in pain and struggling out of his seatbelt. Remus watched Sirius run and turned uncomfortably to James as soon as James' parents had gotten out of the car and started to unpack the boot.

He leaned towards his friend, his voice lowered in concern. "Er, what exactly, I mean, he's quite upset... I didn't..."

James grinned lecherously but when he spoke his voice was reassuring. "Don't worry about it, he's just being melodramatic. You were fiddling with his nipple ring. He has informed me many times, in far too much detail for me to mention here, that it makes him see stars. He'll calm down."

Remus' face took on a vaguely pained expression and he silently got out of the car to bring his and Sirius' things inside. It was the least he could do, after all.


	6. Happy New Year (December 31st, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James wears sexy knickers, Sirius resolves to eat more cheese, and Remus is most thoroughly embarrassed.

Snow fell outside, dusting the ground and treetops with sparkling white and darkening the streets to thick black with slush. The sun had long since set, but there were lights glowing from the inside of each house and colourful Christmas lights remained in place though it was very nearly a new year. In the upstairs bedroom of a large, happy house on Devon Street, a laughing couple sipped champagne and kissed in front of a frosted window, celebrating a good year and welcoming the start of another. Two floors down in the basement, music pounded and people shouted, and celebrations were of a much rowdier sort.

Stubby Boardman idly played an electric guitar, squealing out a riff written by he and his garage band, The Hobbled Gordons. Marlene McKinnon sat next to him on the couch, laughing loudly as he tried to sing along with the record playing, but the part was just a bit too high for him. Emmeline Vance sat in the lap of Leroy Toggles, the bass guitarist for The Hobbled Gordons, and giggled uncontrollably as Leroy and Stubby bickered back and forth good-naturedly about various music related things.

Kingsley, Hestia, Frank, Alice, Lily, Sirius, and Remus sat in the centre of the room with Gideon and Fabian, two brothers from up the street that had brought some 'herbs' with them to share, lighting several joints and passing them around.

James re-entered the room with a couple unopened bottles of hard alcohol and paused, surveying his friends with a smile on his face. The only one missing was Peter, but that's because his batty old mother wouldn't let him come.

"Come on, everyone," James called, loudly over the music. "More alcohol. Let's relocate and share the weed and the booze with this lot over here."

Gradually, everyone got up off the floor and relocated to the couch and chairs near Stubby, Leroy, Marlene, and Emmeline. James pulled out a bunch of shot glasses and set them out before settling onto the couch and pulling Lily onto his lap and taking a joint from Gideon.

"Thanks. So who wants a shot? It's our duty to over-indulge on New Years before all those resolutions come feebly to life for a few weeks," James laughed.

"Honestly James," Lily giggled, rather out of it from the amount of weed in her system. She was sitting in James Potter's lap, rather surprised at the fact, wondering vaguely if he was trying to take advantage of her. She giggled again. "I hope you don't think I'm going to, you know, shag you. I'd get out of your lap, only it's comfortable. That's all."

James inhaled the smoke deeply and then smiled, and emitting little puffs with each word as he said, "Lily Evans, you are far too classy a bird for a bloke like me to expect something like that."

"Whipped, man. Whipped," Stubby laughed and took the joint from James. He inhaled quickly and turned to Marlene, smiling brightly before grabbing her chin and leaning forward, exhaling into her mouth. She exhaled and rolled her eyes, taking the joint from him and taking a puff of her own.

"Shameless flirt," she muttered.

Sirius raised his hand at James' offer of a shot (or six, he thought) and proceeded to add several little glasses of vodka to his already less-than-sober system. He lid back on the floor staring at the ceiling. "What exactly _is_ everyone's resolution? I'm thinking something stupid. Like 'eat more cheese'."

Remus leaned over top of Sirius and quickly swallowed one shot. After calmly refilling the two ounce glass, he swallowed another. "That's not what a New Years resolution is meant to be, Sirius. You're supposed to resolve to make positive changes for a new year," he commented, smiling down at him.

Frank, ignoring Remus altogether, spoke up loudly, "I think we should play a game. Let's everyone fill up some shots and we'll play something."

Alice was nestled comfortably between Frank's legs where they sat near Sirius on the floor, on the other side of the coffee table. She smiled at Hestia, who was currently getting a neck massage from Kingsley. "Hestia knows some really great drinking games, don't you Hes?"

Hestia grinned in reply. "Of course I do; what kind of girl doesn't?" she teased. "Depends you know. Want to have a bit of fun, or want to just get tossed? Or both at the same time?"

"Let's have some _fun_ ," Leroy leered, draping an arm around Emmeline's shoulders. "And also get tossed. We've only got about an hour and some before midnight anyway, and we've got to be tossed by then."

James laughed and swallowed a shot quickly, setting it down hard on the table and agreeing, "Oh yes, we must be tossed by then. Where'd that joint get off to?"

"Oh here, we'll start up another," Fabian said, reaching into Gideon's shirt pocket and pulling out a baggy.

"Lovely," Sirius commented, sitting up again. "Come on then Hes, something that tosses and amuses, eh?"

"All right," she replied thoughtfully. "How about the cliché 'truth or dare'? Basically we truth/dare anyone we like, and if they won't do it they have to drink? And since we want to get drunk, if they do do it too. How's that?"

There was a round of amused laughter at Hestia's suggestion, but everyone eventually agreed.

Remus felt a bit out of place here, even if he was with his friends. He took another shot, trying to just relax and have fun. He turned and caught Sirius' eye, feeling a bit better at the smile there on his face. He leaned forward and took the still lit roach of the first joint they'd passed around and brought it to his lips. He had an innate sort of talent for getting the most out of the hand rolled cylinders without burning himself.

"Who's first then?" Alice asked brightly, her blonde ponytail bobbing.

"Me," Lily quipped from the relaxed comfort of James' lap. She had quite forgotten that they weren't 'dating' as such. She glanced around the room, chewing on her lip, trying to decide who to pick on. "Hmmm," she murmured. "Remus!" She finally decided. "Truth or dare?"

Remus looked surprised for a moment before his expression melted into a pout. "Lily, I thought we were friends," he said with feigned indignation. "Um. Well. How about truth to start out."

James snickered and ran his hands up Lily's back in anticipation. Remus actually looked a little scared. James didn't blame him; Lily could be a frightening force.

Lily chewed her lip again, smiling wryly at the nervousness evident in Remus' expression. "Okay," she said. "If you could shag anyone here, _right now_ , who would it be?"

Remus' eyes widened and he looked frantically around the room. People were laughing, some smiling flirtatiously. Fabian even blew him a kiss. Remus tried to think furiously of an acceptable answer.

"Well," he said calmly, his voice not reflecting his thoughts. "James would kill me if I said you, Lily, and Hestia's pretty cozy with Kingsley over there. Emmeline is, as we speak, being felt up by Leroy," Remus said boldly. Leroy laughed and moved his hand off of Emmeline's shoulder and closer to her chest, wiggling his eyebrows. "Stubby seems to have his eye on Marlene, _if_ she'll have him, and Frank and Alice have been together for ages. Now Gideon and Fabian are rarely ever single, and even if they were, well. To be honest, your sister Molly scares me just a little. I guess that leaves Sirius."

Remus tried to keep his voice lofty and teasing, but he wasn't sure how well it worked. James snorted and began laughing loudly, lifting a foot and using it to push Remus by the shoulder into Sirius, eliciting loud catcalls from everyone.

Sirius felt his face do a rare thing. Blush. His ears were hot and he pushed Remus upright slowly, shooting James The Death Glare while everyone else was too busy laughing to pay attention. "Har har!" He said, faking amusement, annoyed at Lily for asking the question and even more annoyed at Remus for answering it.

"Oh come on Siri!" Lily exclaimed. "Be a sport! James, hand Remus another shot. Your turn to ask a question now Rem," she added.

Remus raised his eyebrows and took the proffered shot from James, downing it quickly and shooting a fleeting sheepish look at Sirius before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked around for a possible target, startled by Fabian's raised eyebrows. He cast his eyes in the other direction and quickly said, "Hestia, since this was your idea. Truth or dare?"

Hestia smiled. She was game for anything. "Dare," she replied.

Remus shrugged and then finally suggested, "Well, it's only giving you an excuse, really, but how about you give Kings a proper snog, hmm?"

Remus knew it wasn't exactly the most inventive dare, but Kingsley saluted him and grinned widely before turning to face Hestia, a look of anticipation on his face as he said, "Well, Hes?"

Hestia laughed and crawled into Kingsley’s lap, grabbed either side of his face and snogged him. Properly.

Everyone whooped, cheered and laughed, and when the two broke free Kingsley was still grinning that wide grin and Hestia looked rather proud of herself. She took the shot offered to her by James and downed it before glancing around the group.

"James," she said after a few moments. "Truth or dare?"

James let out a short laugh. "Oh come on. Like you have to ask. Dare," he crowed.

"Ooh, big talk," Marlene laughed. "You'd better make it good, Hestia. This one gave me quite a bloody run for my babysitting money. I want to see some retribution!"

Hestia smirked wickedly and winked at Marlene. "No worries there love," she replied. "If I had a pound for every time he and Siri stole my knickers I'd be rich by now. So..." she stood and ran over to the closet where the group had stored their overnight bags. She dug through hers and, finally finding what she was looking for, walked back over to James.

"Hold out your hand," Hestia told him, and when he did, she placed a small yellow g-string there.

"Model that for us, will you?" She said. "Just that."

James laughed loudly (a little too loudly) and said casually (a little too casually), "Oh come on, Hes. You just want to see my body. Fine, fine! Who am I to deny my adoring public?"

He shifted Lily off of his lap and got up, taking the yellow g-string with him. He paused and filled a shot. "I think I might need this one in advance," he said, smiling at everyone and determinedly _not_ looking at Lily. He dashed into the hall and shut the door on the sound of laughter and hooted encouragement. He stripped and pulled the tiny garment on. It hardly covered his bits and James was afraid he'd pop out if he walked too quickly. He couldn't imagine life after exposing himself to Lily Evans and he dearly wished he hadn't opened his mouth.

Back in the living room, Fabian called out, lisping his words, "Come on out, Little Jamesie. Let's see, let's see!"

 _Attitude, Potter_ , James thought. _It's all about attitude_.

At that, he waltzed into the room and struck a pose. "Check out these football muscles then!" he boasted, sending his most charming smile in Lily's direction.

Lily had been nursing a rum and coke and sprayed it (with all her feminine grace) directly into Sirius' hair when James appeared. She began giggling, then laughing, and was then laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Everyone was. Sirius fumbled in the cupboard under the coffee table for the Potter's digital camera and was soon taking picture after picture of James in the skimpy panties.

"Turn around James," Hestia called. "Show us what footie did for your arse!"

James rolled his eyes but obliged, striking another pose and winking over his shoulder at Sirius and the digital camera. Remus buried his face in his hands and thanked God it wasn't him. He didn't know how James did it; Remus would never be able to look anyone in the eye ever again. But that was how his friends were. Well, James and Sirius at least. They could do anything.

As the thought of Sirius in a g-string sprang unbidden to Remus mind, he promptly decided he'd had enough to drink and plucked a joint out of Lily's hand, sucking in a desperate lungful of smoke and offering her a watery smile.

"Yes, yes, hurry up and finish admiring me. It is nearly January, you know. It's a mite cold to be trouncing about in nothing but a banana hammock as such," James clucked. After a moment more, he winked at Lily and trotted out of the room to put his clothes back on.

By the time he'd come back in, people were wiping tears of laughter from their eyes and Remus had firmly squelched all thoughts of Sirius nearly naked.

Sirius had moved over beside Hestia and Kingsley and the three were flipping through the pictures on the camera, still laughing a fit to kill themselves.

"We should blow this one up," Sirius suggested, pointing at one where James was back on and pretending to look coy. "Make a poster and stick it up around school."

Hestia giggled as James tossed back her underwear. "I'll cherish these forever," she taunted, pretending to rub them upside her face. "I'll make a shrine and everything."

James rolled his eyes. "I am not ashamed. I look great naked," he said, moving to sit on the couch, pulling Lily into his lap again. "And mostly naked," he amended, nodding at the camera. "Lily, do you want one? I'll even autograph it for you."

Lily rolled her eyes, but was smiling. "No need," she said. "It'll be years before I get that mental image out of my head."

Everyone laughed appreciatively. It wasn‘t everyday you saw James Potter in a lady's knickers.

"All right James," Frank said. "Your turn."

"Sirius, oh lovely mate of mine so quick with a camera. Truth or dare?" James asked mischievously.

Gideon and Fabian exchanged amused looks and Stubby snorted. They all knew what Sirius would pick. Marlene, Emmeline, and Hestia all shared an eager grin. Sirius, they knew, would provide a great deal of entertainment, no matter the outcome. He loved a good spectacle that one did.

"Dare, naturally," Sirius replied and quirked an eyebrow at James. "What's in store Prongs, my boy?" Sirius was certain it would be equally embarrassing, if not more so; a good laugh certainly. He was up for anything.

James smiled sweetly at Sirius and then cocked his head in Remus' direction. No one else would quite understand why the dare was so perfect, but James was content having his brilliance under appreciated just this once. "Strip tease. For Remus. Just down to your boxers, I don't want to see your bits. He looks a little uptight, I think he needs help loosening up, and as the person here he'd most like to _shag_ , I think you might be able to do just that."

Alice let out a high-pitched peal of laughter and Marlene joined in with her own laugh of a much lower, fuller variety.

"Oh come on, James. That's hardly a dare at all! When I babysat the two of you, he got himself naked all the ruddy time!" Marlene chortled. "Given, it might be a trifle more interesting to see it now if he's not as scrawny as you are, you runt."

Sirius swallowed. _Shitshitshit_ , was the only thing running through his mind as he looked from Remus to James, trying to maintain some sense of 'cool'. "Right-o," he said, rather absently. He couldn't turn down a dare, but it... was. Well. He would kill James later, that he knew.

Remus squeaked and cleared his throat, sitting up straight and glaring at James. "Don't be ridiculous James. I, he doesn't... pick something else. Something that might actually be _funny_ and not just... um..."

Stubby threw his head back and let out a gravely chuckle. "Oh Lupin, you sound positively _bothered_ about it. He has to do it. It's a dare," he said, reaching behind him and turning the music up.

Sirius swallowed again. James. Would. Die. He rolled his eyes and tried to smirk. "Prepare yourself Moony," he said, and bowed to Remus, and the crowd, who clapped. He began moving his hips to the beat of the music, and ran his hand through his hair making a mock pouty sexy face.

Everyone catcalled, hollered and threw chips and little chunks of Mrs. Potter's sugar cookies at Sirius. Remus just took another shot and averted his eyes. Mostly.

Alice giggled and turned, pressing her face into Frank's neck and blushing, but still sneaking looks out of the corner of her eye. Hestia was very vocal in her encouragement, and Stubby just leaned over to steal a kiss from Marlene. Everyone was happy and laughing. It was New Years, after all. They should be.

Remus looked back up at Sirius, at the fluid way he swivelled his hips and at his hands unbuttoning his shirt and Remus wished he could be as carefree as the others.

Sirius was trying to be, you know, indifferent about the whole affair as he pulled off his dress shirt, whirled it about like a lasso and threw it in Remus face. Everyone hooted and howled, and it was all very well and good, except that he was stripping for one of his best mates whom he'd had a crush on for quite a while.

He began thrusting his pelvis forward as he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down slowly.

Remus fought the urge to bury his face in his hands and hide because he had a feeling it would have nothing but terrible results. Instead he rolled his eyes and tried to appear unconcerned as he threw Sirius' shirt aside. He averted his eyes again, looking around the room instead of watching Sirius as he undid his trousers. Remus didn't understand how the others could be carrying on casual conversations while watching Sirius. Remus himself couldn't have collected his thoughts well enough to string together even the simplest sentence.

In a moment of bravery (and in trying to remain amusing and indifferent) Sirius turned around and began pulling down his trousers, shaking his arse inches away from Remus face. Everyone laughed, and thought it all very funny, while it was taking Sirius every inch of himself not to stop what he was doing and apologize to Remus.

Remus inhaled sharply and scooted back a little, away from Sirius. He stared like a deer caught in the headlights, mind whirring from alcohol and marijuana and Sirius' arse in his face. __Sirius is just having fun. He's just fulfilling a dare, Remus reminded himself. He turned his head sideways a bit and noticed Fabian. He was watching Sirius with an eyebrow quirked in appraising amusement. Remus frowned and scooted back a bit more so he could lean against the wall.

James snorted loudly and whispered to Lily, "Have you ever seen Remus look more awkward? Poor repressed boy."

Lily laughed without thinking, and then punched James in the arm. "Is that why you did that? To make Remus uncomfortable?"

"No," James answered under his breath. "Well, maybe a little. Mostly I did it because it's hilarious."

"You're cruel," she replied, and scooted away from him slightly on the couch.

Sirius had finally removed his trousers and swung them around his head as well, tossing them right into Marlene's lap. He stopped dancing and the group applauded. Sirius smiled in response and bowed to them again.

Standing there in just his boxers and his tube socks, Sirius held out a hand for Remus to stand up beside him. "Strong drink?" He suggested.

Remus seemed confused, and perhaps even a little flustered, as he took Sirius' hand and got to his feet. "Er, yes. Oh yes. Strong."

James pouted at Lily. "It was _funny_ ," he insisted. "You don't understand the Marauder relationship. That wasn't cruel."

Lily ignored him.

Sirius collected his clothes and replaced them quickly. "All right you lowlife's, we're off to the kitchen for scotch. Happy to entertain."

"Sirius, wait!" Marlene exclaimed. "You have to truth or dare someone before you go."

"Oh bollocks," he muttered. "I pass the torch to you Miss McKinnon. Toodles." He turned toward the stairs. "Remus?"

Remus nodded and followed. "Scotch," he said over his shoulder, pointedly not looking at Fabian. Remus wasn't sure why.

As the two of them went into the hall, they shut the door on the sound of Marlene howling, "Gideon Prewett! Truth or dare, baby!"

They walked up the stairs in silence, Sirius flicking on the light as they reached the top and walking into the desolate kitchen and toward the liquor cupboard. He laid a bottle of scotch marked 'SIRIUS' in permanent marker on the table and grabbed two clean glasses from the dish drainer before sitting down.

"Sorry about that," he said quietly as Remus joined him and he poured out the drinks. He pushed a glass toward Remus. "Dare, you know. Had to. But James is a prat."

Remus nodded and answered softly with, "I know." He sat down cross-legged in the chair next to Sirius. "Scotch is much better than that rubbish James brought down to shoot," Remus said after he sipped the drink. "You know, Fabian was watching you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Remus froze. He certainly hadn't meant to say that. Perhaps he didn't need any more to drink after all. He looked up at Sirius, wondering what his reaction would be.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Well," he said slowly, taking a sip. "He's gay, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded. "Your resolution isn't really going to be to eat more cheese, is it?" he asked suddenly. "Because that's daft."

Sirius laughed. "No. I haven't really decided _what_ I want to resolve to do. I've a few things in mind, but nothing certain. What about you?"

Remus grinned. "Study more so my grades are higher so I can get a scholarship. What else?"

"Jesus Christ Remus," Sirius said, and laughed again. "Mate, you're grades are in the high 90's as is. What are you going for, 100's?"

"Yeah. And, you know," he said, pausing, "other things."

"Other things like what?" Sirius asked before refilling his glass.

Remus shrugged and swallowed another mouthful of scotch. "I don't know, really. Can't quite place it. My resolution is to figure out what it is."

"To figure out other things? You mean like, whether to switch to a new sort of fabric softener? Or more profound?"

Remus laughed and wrinkled his nose at Sirius. "It has nothing to do with fabric softener, I know that much." After a moment of silence, he softly said, "Sirius? I'm really sorry about, you know. What happened. Your family. If there's anything I can do, I mean I know there isn't. But if there is, just, you know. Tell me."

Sirius laughed hollowly and downed his glass. Refilling it again he sighed. "You know, you'd think I'd be sad. But I'm not. It's better for the truth to be out there, as it is, than to repress it and hide it and pretend it doesn't exist or something. I'm not afraid of them anymore... of their judgement."

Remus nodded, feeling like he shouldn't have said anything. "Have you, um. Have you written him? The one they caught you with? The violinist?" Remus asked, unsure why it mattered.

"No, why bother? It was just a thing anyhow, nothing that would have amounted to anything concrete. Why?"

Remus shrugged and knocked back the rest of his drink, refilling it just half-way. "Just curious," he answered, his head spinning. Remus was about to say something when he heard the inevitable sound of the ten second countdown starting downstairs.

They both got up and started to make their way towards the stairway. Remus stopped Sirius with a hand on his arm. "Hang on," he said, and swallowed the rest of his scotch before setting the glass down and starting down the stairs.

Sirius went ahead, walking down as the familiar "5! 4! 3!" sounded around them from the cheerfully drunk/stoned people below. Sirius paused halfway down when "2! 1! 0!" rang through his ears. Impulsively he turned, jumped up a step, grabbed Remus by the shirt collars, and pulled their lips together.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The thought that Sirius was kissing him registered in Remus' fuzzy brain; he knew what was going on. Even though he felt his common sense buzzing around his head like a moth to the flame--stupidly not knowing when to give up--Remus decided it was nothing but annoying. So he ignored it completely.

It was probably not the smartest choice he'd ever made, but as it was, Remus closed his eyes, placed a hand on each of Sirius' cheeks, and kissed him back. He recognized the taste of gin in Sirius' mouth when their tongues met. Remus leaned against Sirius, letting out a small moan as their mouths opened further to each other.

Sirius was deeply enveloped in the kiss; this being his real resolution, to not let what he really wanted slip through his fingers. But the haziness and idiocy of what he had just done was slowly registering; he had taken advantage of Remus' intoxicated state as well as his own to indulge in something that (he believed) wasn't possible.

Sirius pulled back suddenly. "I, well, er, God, fuck. Sorry. Drunk. Incoherent. Sorry." His face was red and he felt like the Buddha of the village idiots. "Sorry," he repeated, and turned awkwardly to run down the stairs, leaving Remus standing right where he was.

Remus watched Sirius with wide eyes as he spoke and then ran away. He watched him disappear into the basement living room where everyone else was, heard everyone lament that he'd just missed the countdown and ask where Remus was. Remus stood completely still and stared straight ahead, raising a hand to his mouth and finally sucking in a breath of air. He rubbed his face before he dropped his hand back to his side and walked down the last few stairs. He paused just in the hallway to collect himself. It didn't mean anything.

Everyone kissed someone at New Years. They'd just been drunk and let it go too far. That was all. He'd said sorry, he hadn't meant to. _He hadn't wanted to_.

Remus walked into the room and smiled at everyone. James was smiling bashfully from Lily's side, his arm around her waist. Stubby and Marlene were still kissing and he had one hand on her arse. Remus cast a quick, unintentional look at Sirius and then promptly looked away again.

"Remus! You missed the countdown!" a very breathless Alice exclaimed, her lips red from kissing Frank.

Sirius purposely looked away. There was nothing else to be said, bottom line being he was a sod and that he had just allowed personal feelings to put a giant ugly lump in the middle of friendship that likely could've done without it. He sat on the couch beside Lily and sighed.

"What's wrong?" She asked, slurring her words.

"Queasy," Sirius lied, laying his head back.

"Oh. Don't throw up on me. I'll hit you," Lily told him.

"Right," Sirius replied. He glanced at Remus through the corner of his eyes. His stomach jumped. The butterflies had gone mad.

He had kissed Remus. It had meant nothing.


	7. Sirius Nobody (January 10th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Regulus is unforgiving, Sirius is broken-hearted, and Remus is a distraction.

Regulus was not happy as he stormed out of his detention. He hadn't deserved the punishment and Augustus had been asking for it anyway. He had to have known Regulus wouldn't have 'had a good holiday?' He was only asking because he was a prick. It had, of course, been the worst Christmas ever. Despite that, Regulus hadn't wanted to go back to school. Sirius was at school and Sirius had left. He hadn't even said goodbye to his own brother when he'd stormed off with his stupid friends. Regulus hated all of them for taking Sirius away from his family, but mostly he just hated Sirius. He'd never even tried; he'd never been willing to try. Not even for Regulus.

He shoved his hands in his pocket, clenching them into fists and glaring at the ground as he walked. _Sirius deserved it_ , Regulus thought viciously. _He never appreciated all that our parents did for us anyway, he never did anything but cause problems, and now this. He's supposed to be a Christian. He deserved it._

In contrast to his brother, Sirius had had a fairly decent day. Thus far he'd successfully avoided Regulus, which had been his plan, especially after hearing that he had sent a good mate of his to the hospital wing with a bloody nose. Sirius was certain that somehow, he and the Christmas holidays were involved.

He turned a second floor corner, heading for the stairwell when he collided with Regulus.

Regulus nearly fell, but quickly regained his balance and shoved hard at the body that had run into him. "Watch where you're going, will you?"

As soon as he looked up, he froze. He felt a wave of something shockingly close to sadness, but he squelched it quickly and the anger came. He took a couple very deep breaths and narrowed his eyes. "Get out of my way, you fag."

Sirius took a deep breath. _Fuck_ , he thought as he straightened his body. His brother, his only brother, was staring at him with enough hate that Sirius was surprised he hadn't spontaneously combusted. "Hello Reg," he said, wincing at the name his brother called him.

"Don't call me that. Don't talk to me at all," Regulus hissed. "You have no right."

"I don't have any right to call you by your name?" Sirius asked. He really didn't want to get into an argument with Regulus. He really, _really_ didn't. But he knew it was coming. He knew that Reg would say something to make him crack.

"No!" Regulus retorted. Sirius' calm was infuriating. His voice was even and unruffled and Reg couldn't help but feel it like a stab in the gut. Sirius didn't care. He didn't care about any of this, about leaving. He probably had a great Christmas. He probably hadn't destroyed the most perfect present because he'd bought it so early that it couldn't be returned anymore, not like Regulus had. "You're not my brother anymore, or did you forget? And we certainly aren't friends. I don't associate with disgusting faggots like you. So you don't have any right to call me anything."

"Yea, well nobody has the right to call me a disgusting faggot either you little prick." Sirius retorted. He had spent most of his holiday worrying about Regulus, and had predicted his reaction to a tee. "I might be an abomination or whatever the fuck you call it, but I'm still your brother."

"No you're not!" Regulus yelled. "You're not part of the family anymore. That's what being disowned _means_! It isn't just Mother and Father you've left behind, it's me too! So don't give me that brother bullshit! And didn't I tell you not to talk to me? Fuck off, you unnatural freak!"

Just up the hall and around a corner, Lily and Remus were exiting the library together, chatting amiably about their upcoming Geography test. They heard shouting and Remus could quite clearly make out the last few words.

"Oh dear," he said, exchanging a look with Lily before heading quickly in the direction of the altercation.

Sirius' face turned red and his mouth twisted. He looked at his feet then at Regulus' angry face and tried to be calm. He really was trying. He _did not_ want to lose his brother. "Reg, please, you don't... I didn't leave you. I left them. They didn't want me. You don't have to hate me just because they do."

Regulus felt a bit like crying, but boys don't cry so he started laughing instead. "You're supposed to be the smart older brother, but you really are stupid, aren't you? I don't hate you because they hate you, Sirius. I hate you because you're a vile little pillow-biting queer."

Sirius' heart cracked in two, and it was evident on his face. His brother hated him because of who he was. Sirius swallowed. "Well you can just go fuck yourself then," he said quietly.

Lily and Remus had come around the corner as Regulus finished yelling, and Lily's head jolted from one facial expression to the other. Sirius looked as though someone, or a part of himself had died. Regulus looked as though he was trying to be indignant, but Lily could see in his eyes that he was feeling just as much pain as Sirius.

"Boys, stop," she said calmly.

Remus' eyebrows rose as he took in the situation. One look at Sirius and he clenched his jaw, shooting daggers at Regulus. He had a pretty good idea what had happened. He made his way to Sirius' side, watching him in concern.

Regulus sneered at Lily and stepped away from Sirius. "Don't worry. We were done," he snarled and turned on his heel to walk away.

Remus held back the urge to punch him. Oh yes, he had a very good idea about what had just happened. As Regulus brushed by him, Remus reached out and clamped his hand around Reg's arm tightly. He didn't know why, nor what exactly he wanted to say, but he couldn't not say anything. Sirius looked devastated. "I hope you fail maths," he hissed irrationally under his breath.

Sirius blinked. Remus had lost his mind.

Lily rolled her eyes, smirking to herself, and as Regulus finally removed himself from Remus' hold and stalked away, she turned to Remus and said, "You need to work on your insults."

Remus shrugged helplessly at Lily and then turned to Sirius. "Are you all right? I mean. That's a stupid question. Sorry."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm ok, I guess. I don't know. He really hates me. Not because I left but because, well, you know."

Remus shook his head. "Oh Sirius. I'm sorry," he said, putting a gentle hand on Sirius' arm. He looked pleadingly at Lily. She must know what to say in a situation like this.

"He still loves you Sirius," Lily said quietly. "You probably don't believe it, but he does. He's hurt, and he doesn't understand. Hopefully... hopefully he'll come to his senses."

Sirius rubbed the bridge of his nose. "No he won't. I'm a faggot, I'm queer, I'm whatever I am. I'm everything he's against."

"Don't," Remus said, his voice a little desperate. He was no good at comforting people; he knew he had to try, but he didn't know how to go about it. On top of it, things were still a bit odd between him and Sirius ever since, well... The Thing of Which Remus Did Not Think. Remus tentatively moved his hand from Sirius' arm to the small of his back. "Don't say that. That's not true, Sirius."

"Obviously it's true Remus," Sirius argued. "He hates me because I'm gay. How is it not true, and how can I not say it?" He shivered slightly at Remus touch, not unwelcome but oddly personal.

"He just thinks he does Sirius, really," Lily said, then suddenly noticed where Remus had put his hand. She didn't say anything, she wouldn't dare right now, considering, but Lily decided that Remus probably understood what Sirius was going through a little more than he was letting on.

"I need to go, I'm sorry. Meeting with the Headmaster," she said, glancing at her watch. "I'll see you later. And don't worry Sirius. Everything will improve, I promise." And with that, she left.

Remus nodded at Lily and turned to face Sirius. "She's right, you know. It'll get better," he said softly. "I hope your brother wasn't too much of a, well, prick."

"He's it mate. I could deal without Mum, or Dad. But Regulus... I didn't want to lose him," Sirius sad sadly.

Remus felt his throat constrict. "It's like Lily said. He's hurt and confused and probably quite angry, but I don't think he's quite written you off yet. He's your brother. He might come around."

"My parents have written me off and they're my parents," Sirius retorted. "What difference does it even make? I don't have a family anymore."

"Oh Sirius. Yes you do. You have me and James and Peter, and you know the Potters think of you almost as one of their own. That's family too, just not the same kind. And we aren't ever going anywhere," Remus assured him vehemently. He felt so... useless. All he could do was stand there and press his fingertips into Sirius' back and say things that probably sounded hollow and Remus just wished he could do something to help, to actually help.

"I know Remus. I'm rather indifferent about my parents to be honest, but Regulus... Reg was it. And now I'm Sirius Nobody and it's rather more disheartening than I thought it would be." Sirius slid down the wall and sat on the ground staring at his hands.

"I didn't want this to happen," he said.

Remus stood awkwardly above Sirius before moving to sit down next to him, shoulder to shoulder. It was late and this was one of the lesser used halls, so Remus only hoped they could count on it remaining rather deserted since he had a feeling it would rather make things worse if someone else walked past at this particular moment. He nudged Sirius with his elbow and looked at him. He didn't know what to say; again, always, forever he didn't know what to say.

"What?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged, offering a half-hearted apologetic smile. "I don't know."

"You know Remus, sometimes you really confuse me. You're like a million piece puzzle or something that makes no discernable sense," Sirius smirked.

Remus just nudged Sirius again. "Maybe I'm meant to be a distraction. Is it working?"

"If you're aim is to be an annoying distraction, yes. Quit nudging me. Your elbows are bony." Sirius was grinning now.

Remus felt relief wash over him and he elbowed Sirius again. "Oh? Does it bother you? I was just showing manly affection," Remus said dryly, sounding as though he were reading it from a thick, old textbook.

Sirius snorted. "Manly affection? That's rich." Sirius puckered his lips and made kissing sounds in Remus direction. "There," he said. "That's poofter affection." He laughed.

Remus blushed a bit and said, "Yes, I'm quite acquainted. Are you going to be all right then?"

Sirius felt his ears grow hot when he realized what Remus was referring to, but, in consideration of his sanity, refrained from commenting. "I suppose so," he said. "I'll live."

Remus nudged him one last time before getting to his feet and holding out a hand for Sirius. "Come on then, let's go upstairs. I won't even tell James if you want to steal his stash."

"Already did," Sirius replied cheekily and grabbed Remus hand. Once on his feet they walked toward the stairwell. "Hey Remus?"

"Yes, Sirius?" Remus asked, his voice tinged with amusement.

"Thanks." Sirius replied.

Remus smiled warmly, wrinkling his nose at Sirius' gratitude. "It's nothing. What are friends for?"

"Lighters and physics assignments," Sirius replied jokingly.

"You _still_ haven't done it? Oh honestly. I can help you finish tonight, if you want."

"Remus Lupin, my hero," Sirius replied, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Ha. Remus Lupin, sucker for you, more like."

While Sirius smirked on this outside, inside his stomach twisted into a big giant knot. He wondered vaguely if there was any hidden meaning behind Remus' words but quickly pushed it out of his head. It couldn't. Never in a million years, no matter how much Sirius might want it to.

"I love being spoiled," he commented idly, resisting the urge to grab Remus' hand.


	8. The Lunch Room Dynamic (January 17th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lucius is the centre of a very narrowed universe, Narcissa's reasoning for most things is outrageously flawed, and Agatha Timms likely snuck out and bought some Clearasil during second period.

The cafeteria was always busy at lunchtime. There was always a jostling for seats and seemingly never quite enough room for everyone all at once. And while it wasn't, perhaps, like lunchrooms in the movies with all the little categories of people, there were a few expected unwritten rules. Like the table in the middle was where James and Sirius sat, along with whomever else. Not like Narcissa knew all their names.

Anyway, she wasn't concerned with them. She sat at her table near the window with her best friends, Elladora Guffy and Veronica Smethley. They always sat together, the three of them, and today they'd allowed Greta Catchlove and Doris Crockford to eat with them, but only because Greta had just gotten sent some homemade fudge, which was the best _ever_ because her parents owned the sweet shop in Salcombe, and Doris had told Veronica she'd put her hair in corn rows this weekend.

With the five of them at the table, that left one empty spot. When Agatha Timms, of all people, tried to sit there, Narcissa almost laughed.

"Oh, no, no, _no_ , Agatha," she said loudly. "You can't sit there."

"Sorry, Narcissa. I didn't know it was taken," Agatha squeaked and got quickly to her feet.

She wasn't a hideous girl, but she was a year younger and had thick, ugly glasses and she talked through her nose. She just wasn't on the same level as Narcissa and her friends, so why should they have to tolerate her for their midday break?

"It isn't taken," Narcissa drawled, then popped a grape into her mouth and cocked an eyebrow demurely as she chewed and swallowed. Narcissa knew she had an _excellent_ sense of drama. "You're just not cool enough. Go on, shoo."

Lucius, regrettably, had cafeteria duty. He loathed spending any more time with the students than was necessary, particularly when the students had food that could be _thrown about_ at any given time, but it was part of the job, and it was no more than twice a month. He caught sight of Narcissa and her girlfriends eating lunch, and smiled lightly to himself. Remembering quickly that he was in a public place, he didn't let his eyes dwindle too long, choosing instead to focus his attention on the apple in his hand, taking a bite.

Unconsciously he walked in the direction of her table, and was just in time to hear her rejection of Agatha Timms. Lucius frowned. What a _catty_ , spoiled little _brat_! _Not cool enough_! he thought, torn between amusement and irritation. He glanced at Agatha, who seemed about ready to cry, and approached the situation as teachers are wont to do. He couldn't force Narcissa to like Miss Timms, no, but he could torture her a little bit for thinking herself all high and mighty and everything else that made him wonder what it was he'd ever seen in her in the first place.

Besides her arse.

"Stop dawdling Miss Timms," he said sharply, interrupting in time to stop Narcissa from saying anything else that might give the other girl an even _worse_ complex. "Take a seat next to Miss Black, if you'd please, and do refrain from being a road block from now on, hm?"

He took another bite of his apple as Agatha Timms bit her lip. Both were looking at Narcissa and wearing very different expressions. Lucius cocked an eyebrow and dared Narcissa with his eyes to dare say anything to the girl. Agatha looked petrified, afraid Narcissa was going to slice her apart with her _beautifully_ pink finger nails.

 _That_ , Narcissa thought angrily, _is_ so _not fair_!

It was no business of his who she sat with--or who she dismissed, either--and what right did Lucius have to interfere? Of course, it wasn't like she could say anything outright to him. They were in public, so he was a teacher, and nothing more. All of Narcissa's friends knew she was seeing an older boy, though she wouldn't tell them his name, and if she gave anything away, she and Lucius would both be in quite the spot of trouble.

Well, fine. She could play that game too. Smiling coyly, Narcissa turned falsely warm eyes on Agatha.

"Yes, do sit. I'm terribly sorry, Agatha. I don't know _what_ came over me," Narcissa said brightly. "You don't want your juice, do you? I'm dreadfully thirsty and it isn't as though you wouldn't benefit from cutting back on the sugar a little, would you? Diet has a lot to do with how many spots you get, after all. Just some friendly advice, girl to girl."

Narcissa couldn't help but smile as Agatha squeaked, shrunk down in her seat, and pushed her juice across the table with one hand while the other came up to cover a spot on her chin. How utterly predictable.

"Miss Black," Lucius said in a warning tone, fixing Narcissa with a stern look.

"Sorry. How rude of me. You don't mind, do you Agatha? You can have it back, if you'd like," Narcissa said to the girl, giving her a look meant to remind the girl exactly who she was dealing with.

Agatha squeaked again and shook her head no. Narcissa smiled at Lucius and took a sip of her newly acquired juice.

Lucius took another bite out of his apple. She really was a little minx, wasn't she? "I've got my eye on you, Miss Black. Do try to be civil."

"Anything you say, Professor," Narcissa replied quickly. "I'd never dream of disobeying a teacher."

He simply nodded before he walked away, and the very moment she thought he was out of hearing range, she turned to her friends and fanned her face excitedly.

"Oh my _gosh_ , he is such a _fox_ ," she gasped, giggling.

Ella nodded her vehement agreement. "You know, he might even be sexier than Sirius. And he's not _that_ much older than us. ...Think he'd ever sleep with a student?"

"Not with _you_ anyway, you tart. Just because my disgusting cousin did, doesn't mean someone like _Lucius Malfoy_ would," Narcissa said sharply, and Ella just laughed, seemingly agreeing that he was out of her league. Then Narcissa turned her gaze on the as yet silent Agatha. "What are you still doing here?"

Agatha looked startled. "Professor Malfoy said - "

"Look, there's a seat over there with the asthmatic Jesus freak preacher wannabes. I'm sure they'd be overjoyed to have someone new to quote scripture at. Now go!" Narcissa instructed, and, as expected, Agatha hurried to comply. "Honestly. What _was_ she thinking?"

Wandering around the rest of the tables, Lucius observed the students dismissively, not really thinking about what it was they were doing (except to remove a pudding cup from Sirius Black's hand before he could throw it in Narcissa's direction), and instead mulling over in his own mind what exactly he was doing with Narcissa Black. It wasn't the first time (nor would it be the last) that he'd mused over her obvious lack of maturity versus her abundance of rudeness and naivety. She was practically the poster-girl for the cold-hearted bitch, for Christ's sake.

Lucius tossed his apple core into the trash can just as the bell rang, signalling the end of the lunch period.

Lucius had a preparation period to utilize. Perhaps it was time to think about the fact that Narcissa was still a child. A vicious, ridiculous child. Lucius himself might not exactly be the most tactful of men, but he knew when to shut his mouth. He did not prey on the weak of mind.

 _Much_.

***

As soon as it was late enough in the evening for the halls to be relatively empty, Narcissa made her way along the now familiar path to Lucius' room. She didn't even pausing as she reached his door, instead just walking in and locking the door behind her before flopping onto the bed. Lucius would join her before long. He always did.

"I'm absolutely exhausted. Professor Binns is _such_ a drag," Narcissa said, stretching luxuriously on his bed. It was a queen, and much bigger than the ones they got. They only had singles in the student dormitories. Suddenly remembering something she hadn't told him yet, Narcissa sat back up and gasped, "Oh! I forgot! I bought you something today. It won't arrive for another few weeks, probably, because you know how tedious internet shopping can be. But it's a delicious pair of leather gloves. Made by some European company and ridiculously expensive, but I couldn't help myself. I can't wait to give them to you. Luce, darling, what's wrong?"

Lucius furrowed his eyes at her. " _Leather gloves_ , Narcissa?"

"Yes, well. They were pretty," she replied, fluttering her eyes at him and pouting just a little. He seemed off. "Are you angry with me?"

"No," Lucius replied. It was true. He wasn't. He was a little baffled by her, obviously. "Tell me, Cissa... Why did you find it so necessary to be rude to Agatha Timms?"

"You aren't actually bothered by that, are you? She'll be fine. Those underdog types are surprisingly resilient," Narcissa said dismissively. "And honestly. It wasn't as though I could allow her to sit with us. That would be like inviting all sort of riff raff in. I earned my reputation. I'm not going to throw it away for the sake of some little girl's emotional well-being."

"You are unbelievable, _honestly_ ," Lucius said, laughing a little at her response. "You are so self- _centred_ , Narcissa! When is it, exactly, that you're going to open your eyes and realize that you're not the centre of the universe?"

"Don't be silly, Lucius!" Narcissa said, eyes bright with adoration as she got up off the bed and crept towards him. "I'm not. _You_ are."

And she meant it. To her, he was everything. She'd do about anything for him. Narcissa hadn't been able to resist a single piece of gossip her whole life, and her having a relationship with Lucius was about the juiciest piece of gossip there ever was, but for him, she'd kept it to herself. She hadn't told one single person. If she could do that, she could do anything. She was sure he could tell by the expression on her face alone.

Lucius smiled at her, amused. " _I'm_ the centre of your universe, Cissa? Oh, honestly. Sometimes I wonder if you're anything more than an infantile teeny-bopper with an out of control infatuation."

"Well, there's no need to wonder a ridiculous thing like that. Your amazing mind could be put to much better uses, and I assure you, there is nothing at all infantile about the way I feel for you," she said. Just in case he didn't believe her, she closed any distance left between them and stretched up on her tiptoes to press her lips to his ear and tell him in a whisper, "I'm not wearing anything beneath my skirt, you know."

This time, Lucius snorted. "And not wearing any knickers proves to me that you've big, bad, grown-up feelings for me then?"

Sighing a little in annoyance, Narcissa took a step back and put her hands on her hips. "It shouldn't have to prove anything. I thought I was done proving things to you. Just because I'm young doesn't mean the way I feel for you isn't valid. I love you, Lucius. And if you're just going to laugh at me, I'd rather leave."

Despite her bravado, Narcissa was actually a little upset. She wasn't used to this. She was perfectly aware of the age difference between them, but he'd never really treated her like a child before, not like this. She'd never had cause to think he had doubts about her before, and she didn't like it. Not at all.

"And now you're pouting," Lucius commented idly, lips twitching slowly into a smirk. "You want to get your own way, don't you?"

"Stop being so condescending," Narcissa snapped and turned on her heel, heading for the door.

She wasn't going to just stand there and let him talk down to her like that. No matter how much older than her he was, he had no right, and she had no idea how to dispute it. She didn't like feeling like she had no power in a situation, and however much his behaviour bothered her, there was very little she could do about it. Yes, she was pouting. Yes, she wanted to get her way. That didn't mean he had to treat her like a child.

That didn't mean Narcissa had it in her to leave, either. Her hand was on the doorknob but he hadn't yet called after her, so she reluctantly stopped and asked him, "Aren't you going to stop me?"

"No," Lucius said. "You're a big girl. You don't need me to tell you what to do."

"You should want to stop me. You shouldn't want me to go," she said, turning around to look at him stonily. Her voice was clipped and controlled, because even if Narcissa was frustrated, she had no intention of showing weakness. "I don't understand you right now. You're treating me like a child, and then you go and say _that_ , and you're acting like you don't care at all. About me, or about whether or not I stay, or about anything. I don't like it."

"Fair enough," Lucius said. "Would you like me to comment about how your irritation is making your hair frizz, or that spots are breaking out all about your face? Stopping them is all in your diet, you know."

Narcissa couldn't help but raise her eyebrows in surprise. He was still fussed about how she'd treated that girl? "You're _not_ serious. I suppose you think calling her a road block isn't going to give her a fat arse complex, do you? And you tell students they're stupid all the time. I should think it does plenty less damage coming from someone they know is trying to be nasty rather than from someone who's supposed to be protecting them from such comments. I hardly think you have any right to try to teach me lessons about being nice to people."

"There are ways to show compassion through brutal honesty, Narcissa. I have been asked as a reference by more students who've graduated from this school than all of the other professors combined, including the mighty Dumbledore himself." Lucius frowned. "You merely berate students to improve your own self-image."

"And why shouldn't I? What do they matter?" Narcissa snapped back. "It isn't as though she won't get over it. It builds character, and heaven knows without it she'll just be a forgettable smudge of background forever. I did her a favour, really. Though I suppose you're going to tell me you were nothing like me when you were my age, are you?"

"I wasn't," Lucius admitted carefully. "I was quiet. I was rude, perhaps, but I was quiet. I didn't go out of my way to intentionally hurt people."

"She came and sat at my table, in case you don't recall," Narcissa reminded him. Squaring her shoulders, she added, "I'm not going to argue with you about this anymore, and I won't apologize for it either. I've never pretended to be anything but what I am, Lucius. I don't know why you suddenly hate me for it."

"I far from hate you," Lucius said. "I'm just trying to reason why I love you so God damn much."

Lifting her chin a little and donning a firm expression to hide the relief in her eyes, Narcissa answered, "Love doesn't need a _reason_ , Lucius. Nor does it accept excuses or logic or conditions or justifications. It just is. We just _are_."

She still wasn't feeling entirely settled with the ordeal (for not knowing where she stood with Lucius, even for a moment, had, embarrassingly enough, shaken her), and so she couldn't quite bring herself to cross the room again to go to him. Instead, she just waited, hoping he would either come to her or, at the very least, call her to him.

"Come here," he said softly, crooking his finger.

Without a word, Narcissa moved towards him, stopping at an arm's length away and looking up at him.

She overwhelmed every inch of his being. And _fuck_ , was she ever right.

"I'm sorry," he said, reaching out and pulling her into an embrace. "Your limitations... well. We all have them. Focusing on them negatively does nothing." He began to stroke her hair.

"It is not a limitation," Narcissa protested determinedly even as she melted into his touch, smiling into his chest. She loved that he was so much taller than her. "It's simply a part of me, that's all, and it is my right. I'm a Black, after all. If anyone has a copyright on being superior and judgemental, it's certainly our family."

"Particularly after the holidays," Lucius said. "I can only imagine Christmas with Agatha Black after _that_."

"It was horrid. We went over for tea. I was forbidden by my parents to say anything, of course, so I uttered not one word the whole time I was there. I'm sure that wasn't what they had in mind, but it certainly annoyed the young gentleman they had there to meet me," Narcissa said lightly, hoping to stir a little jealousy in Lucius.

"Young man, hmm? Are Mummy and Daddy trying to arrange a marriage?" Lucius asked playfully.

"They certainly did seem enthusiastic, anyway. He's nearly finished medical school. He's going to be a surgeon," Narcissa said. "Even without an ounce of encouragement from me--unless you count smiling like the polite society lady that I am--he still asked me out to dinner."

"But you couldn't very well say yes, either, could you? For the same reason?" Lucius asked, a hint of jealousy inching into his voice.

"Hm. I did mention my mother was very enthusiastic, didn't I?" Narcissa teased.

" _Narcissa_ ," Lucius said, rather testily. "Don't keep me on the crook of your finger. It's a rather uncomfortable place to be. I much preferred the centre of your universe."

Narcissa giggled and then said breezily, "Yes, yes, of course I turned him down. Or rather, I let my mother say yes for me, let him take me to a restaurant, then exited out the back before we'd even ordered drinks and went to meet Elladora at the theatre. I'm sure you don't mind my nastiness now, do you?"

"I don't think I really minded as much as I was forcing myself to," Lucius answered. "I search for reasoning, you know, in allowing this relationship to continue, and the longer and longer it goes on, Cissa, the less reasoning I grasp. For the life of me I can't understand why that makes me _happy_."

"It makes you happy because I'm involved, silly," Narcissa said brightly wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips. "And we both know how amazing _I_ am."

Narcissa, for all of her mind-boggling reasoning, was beautiful, wonderful, and, most importantly, _his_. It was ridiculous how a grown man could be so taken in by a pretty pair of eyes, a pout, and true, honest-to-goodness _love_. "You are ridiculous," he told her affectionately, nuzzling her cheek with his own.

"But you love me," Narcissa replied amiably. Having regained her confidence, added slyly, "And I'm also still not wearing any knickers."

Lucius wrapped his fingers around the hem of her kilt, lifting it slowly. "Then why in heaven's name are we still talking?"


	9. Elicited Admissions (March 13, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lily is a bomb expert, Remus is a startled deer, and Sirius takes his shirt off.

It was warm for so early on in March, but signs of spring were starting to show. There was birdsong and the smell of rebirth in the air. Students were taking advantage of the pleasant weather, and the Marauders were no exception. James and Sirius had challenged Kingsley and Frank to a game of football. Remus had, as expected, opted out of the game and was sitting with Lily, watching them play.

Of course, when James and Sirius worked together they were near unstoppable and they were up by a great many points. Kingsley and Frank were good sports, though, and everyone seemed to be having fun.

Remus watched Sirius kick the ball around Frank and through Kingsley to score another goal, not bothering to hold in the fond smile as Sirius hooted and hollered and danced for his small victory.

It was just after noon and the sun was high, so it was no surprise when Sirius, who did much more running than was really necessary, pulled his shirt of. Remus watched that as well, eyes sparkling with amusement.

Lily had been sitting rather quietly, absorbing in the book she was reading. She occasionally looked up to observe the game, but was not horribly interested. She was not very sports oriented and was remarkably proud of herself for knowing which way the ball was supposed to go.

She glanced at Remus idly and was surprised to see him so focused. Normally they were both of the same mindset, ignorant to sports and lost in their own little worlds. But Remus was concentrating with such force. And was smirking as though amused. But in a "God, that's so cute, I want to eat you" kind of way. Lily glanced out at the field, and, spotting Sirius, smirked herself.

"His chest isn't even that nice," she remarked, amused.

Remus automatically replied, "Well, it's not so bad."

The moment the words were out of his mouth, he realized exactly what he'd said and wished he could take them back. He felt a bit of an irrational anger towards Lily, like he felt she'd taken advantage of his comfort, as though she'd tricked him into saying out loud one of a thousand thoughts a day he always kept to himself. He first lowered his eyes, blushing, and then cautiously snuck a look at Lily.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said weakly, knowing even as he spoke that his excuse fell flat. Lily was smart, anyway, and she had this way of pulling things out of him, out of anyone. Of course, Remus was going to deny it as long as he feasibly could.

Lily continued to smirk. "Obviously not. Because commenting on a mate's chest is often something one does out of context." She tucked her bookmarker where she had stopped reading and laid the book aside. "It's perfectly fine to think about it in that context Remus."

"Well," Remus said casually, "I don't. Though I certainly appreciate you saying so. How's the book?"

He didn't really expect his weak attempt to change the subject to work, but he figured it was worth a shot. He reached over and picked up the paperback, flipping through it idly, not reading a word.

"Nice try," she replied, taking the book back and laying it on the ground. "Now, honestly." Lily tipped her head to the side and surveyed Remus' facial expressions. "Does you admiring Sirius' chest have anything to do with what happened in December?"

"What? How do - James doesn't even - oh," Remus said quickly, first shocked and then embarrassed as he realized Lily didn't know anything about what happened at New Years and she was referring to Sirius getting caught with that boy by his parents during Christmas. "Ah. No. Sirius getting caught is Sirius' business. It doesn't involve me at all," he replied.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What else happened?" She asked. It was obviously something resting on Remus' mind or he wouldn't have just looked at her like a startled deer.

"Nothing," Remus replied, but he knew it was no use. "It doesn't matter, he was very drunk and very happy and it was New Years. It has no bearing," he added reluctantly. He frowned for a moment. "And I wasn't admiring his chest."

"Remus, did he kiss you when he was drunk? Like, really full on snogging? At the party?" Lily was almost giddy at this news, though she noted that Remus was most likely trying to repress it in places that weren't the shower. She shook the thought out of her head.

"Lily. You are one of my closest friends and I trust you very much. However. I really don't want to discuss this, even with you. Can we please not talk about this?" Remus asked, his voice plaintive. He didn't want to think about kissing Sirius at New Years. It made his face turn an impressive shade of red and, well, it made other things happen too, things he certainly didn't want to deal with right now.

"If you don't talk about it now you're going to pack it away in your brain and allow it to mutate. It'll take over. Your brain will explode Remus." He had a history of keeping things in until they exploded, and Lily was probably right in assuming that this would be an outburst everyone in maths didn't need to hear. Especially if it was similar to last month when Sirius had spent a week's worth of classes blowing his bangs upward. Remus had turned several spectacular shades of purple before he finally went off shouting 'WILL YOU JUST GET A HAIRCUT? THIS IS SCHOOL, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LEARN, NOT BLOW YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR EYES ALL BLOODY DAY!'

"I wouldn't say anything to Sirius. I even promise not to interfere." She crossed her heart and looked at Remus expectantly.

"There's nothing to talk about! I don't fancy Sirius, Lily, I don't," he said determinedly, tucking his hair behind his ears. "Just because I think of him a lot doesn't mean I fancy him. He's my friend, Lily. He's Sirius. And he hasn't said a damned word about the bloody kiss at New Years since it happened. So it doesn't matter, okay?" He turned to face her worriedly, crinkling his nose and lowering his voice. "Don't tell him?" he pleaded.

Lily's smirk softened to a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry," she said. "I won't. But Remus, well, perhaps you should."

Remus laughed. "No. That's preposterous. Certainly not. Lily, come on now. Use your brain, I know you have one."

"I do," Lily agreed, and glanced out where the boys had stopped playing and were currently dogpiling Frank. "And it's not preposterous. I believe it's safe to say you both fancy one another."

It was then, when James, Kingsley and Sirius had climbed off of Frank, that Lily noted something she knew was very significant. Sirius glanced in their direction, and was looking at Remus as though entirely oblivious to Lily's existence. He looked as his feet, swallowed, and quickly threw himself back into the game.

Lily smiled oddly. "Actually," she continued, "I'm certain you both do."

Remus followed Lily's gaze and sighed. "I don't know what you think you're seeing, Lily, but all I see is Sirius playing a game of football with his friends. There's no way in the world Sirius, well, you know."

He unconsciously followed Sirius with his eyes as he played, and once Sirius looked over at him, smiling. He offered a small smile back but then turned to Lily, shaking his head. "We will only ever be just friends. There's no way."

Lily sighed. "If you say so Remus, but on the day you prove yourself wrong I want some compensation for this conversation. In the form of money, preferably."

Remus shrugged. "I don't have money. Not that I'll need it."

"Chocolate then," she said, and picked up her book again. "Go on," she said, turning to the marked page, "stare away. My lips are sealed." She offered Remus a joking smile, then allowed herself to be engrossed by the novel in her hand.

Remus felt he didn't really have any desire to disobey her, so he didn't.

"Hey Moony! Are you ever going to play with me?" Sirius called, putting on his best puppy dog eyes and adding a touch of lip quibbling for effect.

Remus smiled wickedly. "No, I like to watch!"


	10. A Small Success (May 11th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James doesn't even pretend to have any pride left, and it finally pays off. Manly dancing ensues.

James was bored. He was bored and he didn't know where Sirius was. James was bored and he didn't know where Sirius was and he couldn't stop thinking about Lily. James was bored. James decided to go look for Lily. He was vaguely aware that his infatuation, nay, obsession, nay, _love_ for Lily Evans was probably quite unhealthy. Nonetheless, who was he to deny his most basic instinct?

So, search for Lily Evans he did. It took him a while, but he finally spotted her coming out of the library. He barely registered a little shock of disgust at the girly way his heart skipped a beat before he was taking action.

"Evans! Hey. Let me carry your books for you," he called, jogging to catch up with her.

Lily rolled her eyes at the sight of the approaching James Potter, also known as her stalker for the last however many years since they met. For what her mother referred to as 'puppy love,' Lily could admit that she occasionally saw the cute side to James', er, well _devotion_. Other times it was just plain annoying and rather childish.

"I can carry them myself, thank you." And such was true. She only had two books, both of which were light. Tossing her hair over her shoulder she made to dislodge herself from possible conversation.

"Oh, come now. Don't be like that. You break my heart, you know that Evans?" James asked, skipping around her to the other side. "If it makes you feel better, I'll let you carry my books."

"You don't have any books James, and I wouldn't carry them regardless." Lily continued to maintain an ignorant air in hopes that James would take the hint and go away.

It was quite unlikely.

"Metaphorical books, you know. Like pants," James paused, seemingly confused. He always got tongue tied around Lily. "I mean. Look, never mind. This weekend, what do you say? We go into town together. We could, um, have a picnic. Yeah?"

He was relentlessly hopeful. He was sure that one day Lily would say yes, one day she'd realize that he, James, was really the one for her. One day.

"Like pants? _Honestly_." Lily questioned incredulously. She wasn't sure if James had confused himself or was being forward. "Picnic? No, thank you." After many years of giving James similar answers, Lily didn't feel the need to embellish the situation any further.

James, she was sure, would persist regardless. He always did.

James sighed, moving to walk backwards in front of her, looking into her eyes as he made his best pleading face. "Why not? Come on, it'll be fun. No pressure. I'll do all the work, if you want. And I won't if you don't want. Just, you know, tell me what you want," James rambled, cringing both at the way he'd set himself up and also at the desperation he always seemed to resort to.

"Really James," Lily said, continuing toward the stairwell to her room. "I've told you a million times that I'm not interested. Why do you insist on persisting?"

"Because," James said plaintively. He was about to elaborate before the back of his heels hit an unexpected bottom stair and he fell hard backwards. "Ow," he said vehemently before turning his attention back to her. "Because I like you. And I think you'd like me if you just gave me a chance. Look, anyone this pathetic has to be at least a little bit endearing. Don't you at least like me a little?"

"I find you rather prattish actually," she replied coldly, and walked around him to get up the stairs. "You have more stalker-ish qualities than boyfriend ones I'm afraid."

James got to his feet and turned to walk her up the stairs. "It isn't stalking. It's being persistent!" he called after her. "Come on, Evans. Give me a chance, will you?"

"No," she replied again, irritated. "I'm just not interested James! Move on. There are many other girls at East Portlemouth for you to bother."

"I don't want other girls. I want you," he replied honestly. "I can't help it. I don't know why. I just do."

Lily stopped on the stairs and looked back at him. There was something in his eyes, in his mournfully depressing frown and his helpless stance that made her weaken. He was being quite honest she knew.

She had to turn around and keep climbing or he would certainly get the best of her. She hesitated. He just looked so pathetic. She sighed and rolled her eyes for the second time. "Fine. One date. But that's it James. It's all you're getting out of me."

He was prepared to keep asking (why stop now when he's already sacrificed all of his dignity?), but her words stopped him in his tracks. "Ah. What? Really? I mean. I mean, great! This weekend then. Saturday? Is Saturday okay for you? We'll have a picnic in town. Right. Is Saturday all right?"

"Yes James, Saturday's lovely. Can I escape to my room now? Or have you more wooing to do?" She shifted her books in her arm and looked longingly up the stairs.

"Wooing is complete," James said, bursting into a wide grin. "Hey, Lily? Thank you. Thanks. Really. You won't regret it."

"I hope not," she replied honestly, and turning on her heel, heading upstairs once more.

"I'll come pick you up then, shall I? Wonderful. See you Saturday," James said, though she was probably already out of hearing range. "Bye."

He looked around triumphantly and did a very manly dance in which there was lots of fist-pumping and arse-shaking.


	11. Hopelessly Devoted (May 14th-16th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James gets in touch with his inner Sandy, Lily gets poked, twice, and a small success becomes a larger one.

It had been a nice afternoon. Lily almost hated to admit it to herself, but when left to his own devices, James Potter was not a complete idiot. She had met him in the foyer by the main doors, where he had been smiling - nay, beaming - at the sight of her, holding an oversized picnic basket. He had reached for her hand, tentatively and sweetly, and she had permitted him to hold it, smiling to herself, not allowing him to see how impressed she actually was by this very different, much more subtle and considerate side of him.

They had walked to a grove of trees just beyond the school (and not all the way into town as James had originally suggested), where James had whipped out a traditionally red and white chequered blanket, along with a spread of food that, well. Spread was the wrong word. It was only bread, jam and a thermos of tea, but it was the thought that counted of course.

It was to her own surprise that Lily found herself won over by his charms. Not mention on her back with James on top of her, their lips stuck together.

James, however he may seem to be on the outside, was a nervous, excited, jittery mess on the inside. One that was currently screaming, 'Kissing! I'm kissing Lily Evans! I can feel her breasts against my chest! Holy fuck!' Of course, he didn't dare say anything like that out loud. Instead, he moaned into her mouth and shifted just a little, sliding their hips into alignment. James couldn't suppress a small shiver at the zap that friction gave him.

Lily was most of all pleased by James' control. He was taking things nice and slow; nice and patiently. Which she appreciated. Any other boys she dated had been all over her tits and thighs before they had even managed to kiss her properly, and it was quite refreshing to be treated as though one was not simply, well. Tits and thighs.

But, alas! It was then that Lily's content little bubble of thankfulness came crashing down around her; when she felt a familiar and rather unwelcome poke to her aforementioned thigh.

James felt Lily pull back a little and tense. He flushed a little as he had quite a good idea what exactly it was she'd noticed. He broke the kiss to whisper, "Sorry, I can't help it," before pressing his lips to hers again. He desperately hoped she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. It was the truth, after all; he couldn't help it.

Lily's pleasant mood evaporated. So. That's what he wanted, was it? Not a nice, comfortable snog in the middle afternoon? Wasn't enough, eh? Lily's face twisted as she pushed James backward, forcing him off of her. _Too bad for James Potter_ , she thought irritably, giving his surprised face the look of death as she stood, flattening out her rumpled skirt. _Lily Evans does_ not _shag on the first date_!

Without a word she turned, stalking off in the direction of the school.

"What? Hey! Lily!" James called. He watched her walk away for a moment, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Making a decision, he jumped to his feet, stuffed all of their stuff back into the basket, the mess be damned, and ran after her. He didn't catch up to her until three hallways and two flights of stairs later. She was, unfortunately, in the forum. It was filled with all sorts of chatting groups making plans for a Saturday night. James sighed and touched Lily's arm.

"Can we talk about it at least?" he asked sheepishly. After casting a wary look around the full room he added, "Um, in private?"

Lily's face was burning red. She was infuriated. She had actually expected better of James, but, as was the usual when it came to him, she was wrong. All boys were the same. They only wanted one thing; one stupid pain-in-the-ass thing that, in the end, amounted to satisfaction to them and them alone.

Looking at James' pleading face, Lily shook her head. "You're incredible," she hissed, clenching her jaw. "Positively, absolutely the most _manipulative_ bastard I've had the displeasure of snogging! I actually believed that you were different, did you know? Wrong again though, as you're just the same as every other bloke in this school Potter. Thinking with your trousers!"

James blinked at her and stepped a bit closer, dropping the basket to the ground. "I wasn't. I just can't _help_ it, Lily. You're, I mean. You. I didn't expect, you know. Though to be honest, I wouldn't have turned it down," James said, and realized he should not have admitted that last bit. "But look, that's not, I mean, you can't hold that against me!"

Lily made an affronted noise in the back of her throat, looking at James as though her were something rather disgusting at the bottom of her shoe. "Bollocks!" she said, disbelieving. "Obviously you wouldn't have turned it down; it's all you wanted, right? To hike up my skirt and shag me, consequences be damned, on the _FIRST DATE_? Unbelievable!"

"No, that's not all I wanted!" James exclaimed, exasperated. People around them had turned to watch. James gave a group of younger girls a dirty look, but though they giggled a little, they didn't even pretend to stop staring. "We were eleven when we met, do you remember?" he asked, his voice pleading. "Are you going to try and tell me that's all I wanted then, too?"

James felt embarrassment flare hot in his stomach. James rarely got embarrassed. It came from his and Sirius' penchant for making spectacles of themselves, but right now he was most certainly embarrassed. He turned his face away from Lily for a moment with the excuse of glaring at their audience but really just hoping she wouldn't notice the hot red of his cheeks.

"And I told you I couldn't help it. Do you have any idea how much I think of you? And not just... not..." James trailed off, scrubbing a hand through his hair and scowling. "You really think that's all I want from you? A quick romp outside on a hill and then we'll be done with it?"

"Think of me and what?" Lily asked, glowering. "Wank?"

Obviously she wasn't going to answer his last question. _Nice to know what you really think of me, Lily_. At that thought, James met her eyes. "Do you want me to lie? Of course I do. But just because you turn me on doesn't mean that's _all_ you do," he said sullenly, quite aware that he was probably digging himself a deeper hole.

Lily gritted her teeth. "You are a disgusting, sodding, IDIOT!" she yelled, frustrated, longing to hit him for making her feel so horrible. Why was this hurting so much? Why was she so angry? Usually it didn't matter. Usually it wasn't even a question, it was just something she accepted. Why then was James Potter having such a huge impact on her?

Better yet, why was she _reluctant_ (of all things) to have sex with him?

"No! I'm not!" James shouted right back, though not quite as loud or angry as Lily. He'd never outright yell at her, and one would have to be mad to yell anyway. Mostly James was just, shockingly enough, ashamed and hurt. He was disappointed she thought so little of him even though, thinking back, she'd never given him any reason to think she might actually like him. For the first time James could ever remember, he felt completely unsure of himself. Lily Evans had shaken, nay, stolen the infamous James Potter confidence.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, James reluctantly muttered, "I'm just a boy who's bloody head over heels for you, is all. So excuse me if I don't exactly want to lie to you. If you're through with this lovely bout of public humiliation, I'll just take our picnic basket and go."

Lily blanched, taking a deep breath. "Just go," she said quietly, looking away from him.

James bent to pick up the basket and turned to leave, only hesitating a moment before virtually running from the room with a rather unreadable look on his face.

Lily looked after him, finding unexplainable tears trailing down her face. "Get out of my way," she said, and pushed through the crowd, vision blurred, looking at no one.

Though both Lily and James hadn't quite known what to expect from their date, it had ended rather more disastrously than either had even considered. They both might've decided to just leave it be, but lucky for them, East Portlemouth Prep had a very well-oiled rumour mill.

***

Lily fiddled at her macaroni and cheese, pushing the noodles around her plate with disinterest. She was squashed in between a protective Emmeline and Hestia, who were sporting matching scowls and warding off visitors with barred teeth. Students passed the table where they were sitting, exchanging whispers behind their hands, giggling in Lily's direction. She hardly even noticed anymore. Hes and Em were dealing with everything while Lily kept her head down, effectively avoiding the student body (James in particular) in addition to the rumours of everything from a Romeo and Juliet romance, to hearing that she was pregnant with James' love child.

Lily vaguely wondered if love had anything to do with it, and sighed, accidentally pushing some of her macaroni onto the table.

Remus and Peter entered the cafeteria and walked passed Lily's table on their way to some empty seats just a few short feet away. Remus offered a small smile and a helpless shrug on his way by, while Peter bounced next to him and grinned widely in Lily's direction. He even slowed down for a moment and had to hurry to catch up to Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes as the two of them took their seats, turning to watch the entrance they'd just walked through. He knew that their actions would make it obvious to Lily that something was going to happen, but there wasn't much she could do about it anyway so Remus couldn't see a problem in it.

Sirius sauntered in behind his two mates a few moments later, and, spotting Lily, strode toward her, plopping his ghetto blaster next to her plate. "Afternoon," he said, nodding idly toward her, Hestia, and Emmeline in turn, then stepped back. "The following performance has been brought to you by Sirius, Remus and a great prat. Enjoy!" He pressed play, and hurried toward Remus and Peter, seating himself just as the music started.

Lily watched him move with confusion, then tried to place the first few notes of the song, just as James entered the cafeteria.

James, to the untrained eye, looked as cocky and confident as he usually did. Only the small, sheepish smile shot in Lily's direction indicated otherwise. James cleared his throat and, as soon as the words began, started to sing loudly along with a song everyone would quickly recognize from a popular musical.

 

_Guess mine is not the first heart broken,  
My eyes are not the first to cry   
I'm not the first to know,   
There's just no getting over you _

_I'm just a fool who's willing  
To sit around and wait for you   
But baby can't you see,   
There's nothing else for me to do   
I'm hopelessly devoted to you _

_But now there's nowhere to hide,  
Since you pushed my love aside   
I'm not in my head,   
Hopelessly devoted to you   
Hopelessly devoted to you,   
Hopelessly devoted to you _

_My head is saying, "fool, forget him",  
My heart is saying, "don't let go"   
Hold on to the end,   
That's what I intend to do   
I'm hopelessly devoted to you _

_But now there's nowhere to hide,  
Since you pushed my love aside   
I'm not in my head,   
Hopelessly devoted to you_

As soon as the song was done, James grinned up at Lily from his spot on bended knee before her. The performance had been impressively dramatic and out of tune and by the end of it, a large portion of both the students and staff were laughing at James' antics. Some of the girls were making rather odd cooing sounds on top of it, but James just waited patiently for Lily's reaction.

Hestia and Emmeline were staring at her expectantly. Lily could feel their eyes burning a hole through the side of her head. She wanted to jump up from her chair and hug James, to kiss him right there in front of everyone, to jump in his arms. But she just sat there and _looked_ because _looking_ was all she could do, even after being given a sharp nudge by Hestia that really, really hurt.

James' heart sped up in his chest. She wouldn't still reject him, would she? After all this?

"I'm sorry I made you cry. I didn't mean to. I'd never mean to," James said quickly, hoping to derail any excuse she might have for being cross with him.

Lily blinked. He... knew? That she'd cried? "How... how did you know that I did?" she asked quietly.

"Well," James said, licking his lips a little nervously. "Rumours, you know. As far as I could tell, it was the only one that was true. I asked around."

"Oh," Lily replied, looking down at her hands. "It's just that, well, I." She stopped, biting her lips. "Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

James got to his feet silently and didn't even consider pointing out a similar request he'd made only a few days earlier as he held a hand out to help her up. At least she wanted to talk. That was a good sign.

Taking his hand, Lily stood, and followed him out of the room, followed by the eyes of everyone else at East Portlemouth. Outside the doors she pulled him by the wall, her back to it, and fiddled with his tie uncertainly. "I think that. Well. I should be the one that's sorry. I really over-reacted."

James tentatively put his arms around her and pulling her into him, just a little. "It's not all I want. Really," he insisted. "Just because you make me randy doesn't mean I think you're only good for sex. I'm a teenage boy. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to make me randy."

Lily giggled. "I know. It's just that, well. I'm not used to being handled so sweetly; I really liked it, you know? And then you just. Um. Poked me, and it was like my entire happy image was ruined even though, I mean, I'm not stupid. I know you couldn't help it."

James ducked his head to look in her eyes - he was quite a bit taller than her, after all. "I really liked it too. And if you give me names of any blokes who didn't handle you sweetly, I could have them killed. Discretely, you know. No one would ever find out who did it."

Lily giggled again. "You really are different, aren't you?" she asked softly.

James laughed and nuzzled her neck. "Well, my parents say _special_ , but I suppose that's the gist of it," he joked, relief evident in his both his voice and his actions.

Lily sighed, and smiled. "Do you... want to go somewhere?" she posed suggestively, licking her top lip and looking upward at him.

James moaned. "See? It's things like that. I can't _help_ it when you do things like that," James mock complained, stepping away from her and looping his arm around her shoulder and leading her in the general direction of the nearest stairs. "And yes. Where do you want to go?"


	12. A Late Night (August 11th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius and Remus admit nothing to no one, particularly not one another.

Remus had been reading, sitting near the lamp in the living room so as not to keep anyone up. It was late, however, and he made his way up to the guest room. He went to the washroom to check his blood sugar level (it was as it should be) and brush his teeth before heading to the guest room that he and Sirius shared. He was relieved to notice light from under the door because he'd never been very good at keeping quiet. He let himself in, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Still up, I see," he said, moving to pull the hide-a-bed out of the couch so he'd have somewhere to sleep. He'd forgotten to do it earlier, so it was a good thing Sirius was still up. It was squeaky, creaky, and very loud, but comfortable nonetheless.

Sirius, more than anything, was restless. He had tried to sleep but had failed miserably, so instead found himself sitting Indian style on the bed, a game of solitaire in front of him. "Can't sleep," Sirius replied. "Where were you?"

"Reading," Remus replied, holding up a book. "Pride and Prejudice. Classic. Why can't you sleep?"

He grabbed the pillows from beside the couch and tossed them onto the bed, sitting on the end facing Sirius. The reason he closed it up during the day was because it took up too much room when open. Now, he was only half a foot from the edge of Sirius' bed.

"The five of hearts can go up and then you can move the five of diamonds down," Remus commented idly, looking at Sirius' card game.

Sirius glared. He hated it when people played over his shoulder. "Thanks, Tips," he said sarcastically, but made the moves Remus had suggested. "And I dunno why I can't sleep mate. Just can't." He shrugged. "Insomnia I suppose."

Remus moved to sit across from him, his wait causing some of the cards to slide towards him. "Sorry," he apologized, putting the cards back where they belong. "Look, are you okay? A lot has happened over the past few months. If it were me, I might have insomnia too," he added, concern in his voice.

"It's been a weird year," Sirius muttered honestly, and abandoned his card game in favour of lying back on the bed. "I can't say I've slept much lately, as it is."

Sirius' shirt rode up a little as he laid down and Remus suddenly remembered a question he'd been burning to ask but never had. Perhaps it was the exhaustion heavy on his mind that finally brought him to ask something he never thought he would, or perhaps it was an insatiable sort of curiosity.

"Can I see it? Your nipple piercing?" Remus flushed as soon as he spoke and added in a mumble, "I mean, if you don't mind, if it's not weird."

Sirius blinked. "Sure. I guess. Shit Moony, I've had this done for a year. Why didn't you ask before now?" Sirius sat up again and lifted his shirt upward, holding it just above his nipples.

"I don't know. I just didn't, I guess," Remus said, leaning forward and squinting at the small hoop. He started to reach a hand out and then dropped it back into his lap. "Can I, um, touch it? I mean, the idea of having metal through any part of me is rather foreign, you know. It's just interesting."

"Go ahead mate, I don't care." Sirius replied.

He reached out and flipped the hoop up gently, surprised at how easily it moved. He twirled it and pulled a little, very gently, trying not to notice as Sirius' nipple hardened beneath his touch. "Didn't it hurt?"

"Hurt like fuck," Sirius said. It felt like nothing now, and, because it was so sensitive, felt himself blush at the tingling under Remus' fingers. It felt oddly right, but Sirius tried to brush it aside. He swallowed. "Ask James. I yelled pretty loud."

Remus' couldn't help but look down a little. Sirius' pyjama pants rode low on his hips, showing off both his slim waist and a dark dusting of hair just below his navel. Remus looked back up and met Sirius' eyes. "I can imagine. Puncture wounds are never pleasant," he said, smiling slightly.

"And you would know," Sirius said, allowing his shirt to drop back down. "Still have that scar?"

Remus shook his head ruefully. "Sirius, I'll _always_ have that scar."

"Well, yea. But how big is it now?" Sirius asked.

Remus hesitated a moment before shifting and both lifting his shirt and tugging down his trousers a little to display a wicked scar above his hip in a vague semi-circle shape. He'd been attacked by a dog as a young child and as he grew, the scar had stretched out and became distorted. It was even worse now than it had been. Years ago, the thought of showing the scar to anyone would have been laughable, but he felt comfortable, or at least close to, showing it to Sirius.

"It's sort of twisted now, you see? Because I grew more up than I did out," Remus said.

"You should start eating more then. Plump up, you know," Sirius commented as he traced the uneven scar with his fingers.

Remus chuckled and tried not to shiver at the feel of calloused fingertips dancing over the pale skin of his stomach. "No thanks. Changing my eating patterns would mess with my blood sugar too much. It isn't worth the effort," Remus said.

Again, years ago he never would have considered telling anyone about his diabetes. Though he personally considered it a weakness, his friends already knew and it wasn't a big deal to them. It was just something that had to be considered every so often. Remus was grateful for that.

Sirius smiled and retracted his hand, moving it to the base of his own neck and rubbing gently, something he did out of habit when he was either nervous or ashamed. He coughed, then sighed, looking intently at Remus, almost mesmerized.

Sirius didn't know what it was. It was almost as though he were seeing Remus clearly for the first time in his life. He'd been feeling weird pangs like these in his gut now for over a year... more so since the _incident_. Remus was now a place he associated with comfort. With happiness.

Perhaps... perhaps even with something else. But he wouldn't say that, not even to himself.

Remus watched Sirius' face, watched the smile and then the oddly intense sort of look. He stared too, caught up in Sirius'. It was odd how often that seemed to happen in a day, how often Remus got stuck on parts of Sirius. His face, as tonight, or his hands covered in chips of white paint as they helped Mr Potter repair a fence, or his hips poking out from between his low slung trousers and snug fit shirts, or his lips as they twisted into a smirk when Remus did something clumsy or funny. When he wasn't paying attention, though, he got caught up on all of Sirius. Nothing in particular, just Sirius. How he acted and all the little things he did. Remus didn't know why, nor could he stop it. Instead, he just tried to put it out of his mind.

"It's late. We should try to sleep," Remus whispered.

Sirius was shaken out of his trance. "Yea, you're right," he agreed, and began scooping his playing cards off the bed. Even as he was turned away from Remus' face, Sirius could still see it, and his smile, and he smiled too, before he even realized he had done so.

Placing the cards on the side table, Sirius turned to face Remus again to find he crawled under his blanket on the fold out couch. Sirius did the same.

"Good night," he said as he reached to turn off the lamp.

Remus blinked in the sudden darkness, shifting and cozying into his bed, though it seemed oddly cold. He squelched the thought that he'd be warmer if he were with Sirius and rolled onto his other side.

"Good night, Sirius. See you in the morning," he said, even as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark so he could make out the outline of his friend on the bed across from his.

Sirius closed his eyes right away, but, given the racing thoughts in his mind, it was a long time before he finally fell asleep.


	13. FINALLY. (August 17th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there is cake, cigarettes, questions, and kissing. No shagging in the bushes though, sadly.

It was a warm night with a comfortable breeze and James and Lily were on the porch swing feeding each other cake. Remus and Sirius were at the other end of the deck, Remus standing and holding his plate of dessert and Sirius sitting on the railing with his back against the corner post. The Potters had gone on a business retreat ("We'll only be gone one night. _Please_ try not to get into trouble? If come back and my house is burned down, James, you'll be dropping out of school to rebuild it!") and wouldn't be back until the following afternoon, but surprisingly, James had decided to take Lily out and Sirius and Remus were just going to spend the evening at home.

"Oh, sorry, I got some icing on your cheek. No, Lils, let me get it," James said and leaned forward, kissing it off. "Sweet, but not as sweet as you. Like that poem, you know. Roses are red my love, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but not as sweet as you."

Remus smiled around his fork and rolled his eyes at Sirius. He was a bit surprised Lily put up with James, sometimes. He meant well, certainly, but he tried a bit too hard, Remus thought. Though perhaps that was half his charm, really.

"You're a fool, James Potter," Lily replied happily, and stuck a finger full of icing on his nose with a smile.

Sirius blew smoke into the evening as he exhaled, and tipped the ashes from his cigarette onto the ground with a flick. He was, quite honestly, rather fed up with James and Lily's behaviour, namely because they could molest one another with icing all they pleased. He was left to _look_ at Remus, as he stood--rather hunched, Sirius thought, and considering the situation as though it might have deeper meaning--face icing-less. Regardless, even if there was icing on Remus' face, he would surely not want _Sirius_ to _kiss_ it off.

James happily wiped the icing from his nose and stuck it into his mouth, gathering up his and Lily's empty plates and getting to his feet, holding an arm out for her. "We're going to get going. It's a ten-minute walk to the cinema and it starts in half an hour. Don't want to be late," he said in Remus and Sirius' direction.

"Be good, kids," Remus answered wryly, nodding in their direction.

"No shagging in the bushes!" Sirius called through a fresh cloud of smoke.

James opened the door for Lily and then stuck his tongue out at Sirius behind her back before following her in, letting the screen door bang shut behind him loudly. Remus heard relaxed laughter from inside, and a low murmur from James followed by silence that could only mean they were kissing. He couldn't help but stifle a small sigh.

"They seem happy, don't they?" Remus asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as wistful to Sirius as it did to his own ears. "I'm glad for them."

Sirius shrugged indifferently. "I'm just glad he's having sex. I was rather tired of him talking about doing it, and wanking off in the room at night going, 'Oh, Lily!'"

Remus wrinkled his nose and gave Sirius a look. "I think that's one of those things people don't usually say in polite conversation, Sirius," Remus said teasingly. He heard the front door slam and James and Lily's voices could be heard vaguely as they walked up Devon Street and towards the movie theatres. "Still, though. Must be nice."

"The shagging?" Sirius asked, taking a final draw from his cigarette. "I imagine they enjoy it. James in particular."

"What? No, I mean. Well, I'm sure it's... I meant being together. Being with someone. Not, you know," Remus stammered, smiling through a blush.

"You can say shagging, Moony," Sirius said with an amused smile, tossing the butt of his fag into the grass. "It's not a swear word, eh?"

Remus shrugged and lifted the last forkful of cake to his lips. "Shagging, then," he said, before eating it. He set his empty plate down on the far end of the railing and leaned his elbows onto a part of it nearer Sirius' legs. He was facing the back lawn instead of Sirius as he commented, "One thing I like about summer is that it's light out until late. I don't like the dark much."

"Why?" Sirius asked, interested, if a bit baffled. Remus always managed to do that to him; to leave him wondering what it was he liked so much about him. The questions always turned into the reasons, and Sirius was actually beginning to question his sanity. Remus was driving him mad.

Remus shrugged. "Too many shadows, I guess. Too much unknown," he answered, tilting his head to the side and shrugging sheepishly at Sirius. "Sorry, that's stupid, isn't it?"

Sirius pursed his lips. "No, I don't think so. Everyone's entitled to be afraid of what they like," he said, and looked away from Remus and back out to the yard.

Remus nodded. He almost left it alone. I mean, what business of his was it? He always felt like however well he knew Sirius, he was only ever scraping the surface. There was so much more to him than he ever showed anyone, and Remus wanted to know. It was inevitable, really, that after moment of silence, curiosity got the best of him. "What are you afraid of?"

Sirius glanced at Remus, and then looked at his sandals. "Honestly?"

"If you want to tell me. I mean, you don't have to. I'd, you know, like to know," Remus answered.

"Not ever getting what I want out of life," Sirius replied dully.

"Oh," Remus said and paused. "That makes sense." Another pause. "What do you want, then?"

Sirius bit his lip, and then looked at Remus sadly. "That I won't tell you."

Remus nodded, only realizing afterward how personal a question it was. "Sorry," he said and decided that a change of subject was in order. "Hey, Sirius, are you, you know. Seeing anyone? I mean. I just, I never know with you."

"No," Sirius said without thinking. "There's no one worth seeing, to be honest."

"Oh," Remus said, feeling oddly disappointed. He moved to tuck his hair behind his ear, stealing a look at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. "That's a shame," he added lamely before turning to look down at the lawn, clasping his hands in front of him.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Why? Have someone in mind, Miss Match?"

Remus snorted, shaking his head at a sudden and absurd mental picture of himself interviewing possible partners for Sirius with a long list of impossible requirements. "Like I'd try to set you up with someone else," he answered and then blinked. "Oh, I mean. You know. I don't really know your type, anyway."

Sirius cocked his head on the side, observing Remus in a new light. "Wait, what? What did you say?"

"No, nothing," Remus said quickly and stood up straight, picking up his plate and fork. "Want to go in and watch some TV or something? There's probably a movie on cable."

Sirius jumped to his feet. "No fucking way, Remus Lupin," he said gruffly, and grabbed the other boy by the shirt collars, crashing Remus' lips into his own.

Remus dropped his dishes with a clatter, lurching backwards and away from Sirius with surprise, letting his hand fly up to touch his tingling lips. "What are you, um, what are you doing?"

"Getting what I want," Sirius said a little breathlessly, face flushed.

Remus made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and all of his hundreds of questions disappeared. He moved his hand and closed the small distance between them, putting a hand on either side of Sirius' face and pressing their lips together again. There was a voice in the back of his head screaming, _What am I doing, what am I doing?_ but Remus ignored it with a firm, _I'm getting what I want too_ , and kept right on kissing Sirius.

Sirius slid his hands into Remus' hair, roughly, feeling needy, feeling vulnerable. He pulled away for a second and licked his lips. "So, um. I... you. We. Kissing good?"

"Do you mean it? I mean. It's not just, it isn't... just... do you?" he asked breathlessly.

Sirius nodded. "Yes."

"Then yes. Kissing very, very good," Remus answered, his lips hovering just a few inches away from Sirius' own.

Sirius licked his lips again. "I, wait. Um. Have you, I mean. Me? Blokes? I. Um."

Remus blushed and closed his eyes. "Surprise," he said timidly, leaning back a little to put some space between them.

Sirius scratched the back of his head. "Since when?"

Remus shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Before New Years, anyway," he answered. "For a while. A long while, really. Ages."

"Oh." Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you say anything? At New Year's?"

Remus raised his eyebrows at him. "Well. I didn't have much of a chance, did I? I mean. You know. It wasn't really. I nearly died when James made you, you know. But what could I say? Oh, Lily knows, she's known for months. She figured it out on her own, mind."

"You could've said something afterward," Sirius said, a little dejected.

"As soon as we, you know, stopped, you started swearing and apologizing and then you left. None of that is very encouraging, you know," Remus pointed out logically.

"Well," Sirius began reasonably. "I kissed you out of no where, so. I thought I probably scared the hell out of you."

"Oh yes, and obviously the way I practically jumped you in return is certainly evidence of that," Remus answered. "Well. Jumped you the Remus way, anyway, since that's probably about as close as I'll ever... never mind. How, um. How long for you?"

"Liking blokes or liking you?" Sirius asked.

"Um. Me," Remus answered bashfully.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "I, well. Remember when I got my nipple pierced?"

"Yes," Remus said. "Just before last summer."

"Yea. Long before that. But it's just after that that I told James about... things. And you were, well. One of those things." Sirius felt his ears grow warm and he shoved his hands in his pocket.

"James knew?" Remus asked, surprised. He was shocked James had managed to keep it to himself. Though, really, there were a lot of things that made more sense now. His actions at New Years, in particular. Remus vaguely registered--not without a healthy does of discomfiting panic--that this was one of the most surreal conversations he'd ever had. "And. Oh. I mean. That's a long time. You can't complain about _me_ not telling _you_ , you know. You could've told me."

"I didn't think you'd react well to the fact that I've had a big gay crush on you for the better part of two years," Sirius admitted.

Remus couldn't help but laugh and cover his face with his hands. "We're a bit ridiculous, aren't we? I think... I think we should, ah. Stop talking," he said and nervously stepped closer. "I mean. You know. Ah, kissing. Kissing was good."

Sirius looked a little sheepish, and smiled. "Just one more thing," he said, tentatively sliding his hands around Remus' waist.

Remus moved his hands from his face to rest them hesitantly on Sirius' shoulders, rubbing his thumbs idly against the exposed skin of Sirius' neck. "Yes?"

"What does the kissing mean?"

Remus swallowed hard and looked up into Sirius' eyes. "I don't... I don't know. I mean. I want, I've _always_ wanted, well, you. If you want me, you know. I mean. You can have me. I, oh bollocks, you know what I mean."

Sirius leaned his forehead against Remus', grinning widely, genuinely, happier than he had felt in a long, long time. "I do. And I want you. And I'll have you if you'll have me back."

Remus mirrored Sirius' grin. "Okay."

Keeping one hand on Remus' waist, and still grinning, Sirius brought his other hand to Remus' cheek, holding it softly and running a thumb over it. He leaned forward, lips touching Remus' lightly at first. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, sucking on Remus' top lip.

Remus felt his heart speed up and he didn't know how to do anything but lean closer. He began to respond, opening his mouth and tilting his head a little to give Sirius better access. He didn't know what he was doing, he had no experience. Sirius did, and Remus would let Sirius lead them.

Sirius deepened the kiss further, pressing his tongue in Remus mouth, intertwining then pulling back, biting down and then sucking on Remus' bottom lip. The hand at Remus' waist tugged on his trousers, while the one on his face slid into his hair.

Remus felt himself falling into the kiss, but the tug at his trousers reminded him exactly how easy it would be to fall too far. He turned his head to the side, breaking the kiss gently and gasping against Sirius' cheek. It was a little stubbly and Remus could smell his cologne. He tightened his grip on Sirius' shoulders and brushed his lips along his jaw.

"Um. This is. We. Maybe we should, ah..." Remus trailed off and collected his thoughts. "Inside?"

Sirius licked his top lip. "Erm. Ok," he said quietly. "Sorry, I... too much?"

Remus rubbed his cheek against Sirius' light stubble and stepped back a little, smiling. "No. But it's getting dark."

Sirius grinned. "All right," he said, intertwining his fingers with Remus'. "Inside."

Sirius led the way and Remus followed, his dessert plate and for forgotten on the deck behind him. The screen door banged shut behind them and Remus couldn't help but laugh. It was just like when James and Lily had gone inside earlier. He tugged Sirius' arm until he turned and they were facing each other and leaned up to kiss him.

"I'm glad for us," Remus whispered.

"Me too," Sirius replied. In truth he was thanking all the gods in every religion while his brain was doing a sort of Irish jig. It didn't seem real, but at the same time it was the most real thing he'd ever experienced. He was happy, on the verge of exploding, and he nuzzled Remus, kissing the side of his face. "You know what's ridiculous though?" Sirius asked.

"What?" Remus asked, smiling at the ticklish sensations of Sirius' affection.

"James is going to be saying 'I told you so' until the cows come home."

Remus laughed. "He and Lily both. In fact, I might owe her money and chocolate over it."

"Worth it though," Sirius said honestly, and began sucking on the skin behind Remus' ear, hand trailing once again to the top of his trousers.

"Oh, agreed," Remus gasped.


	14. Bad Hiding Places (August 18th-24th, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Mrs. Potter doesn't need the MOP, Peter's eggs are in disagreement with him, and Remus is puddin'. Coffee drinkin' puddin'.

Sliding a nimble hand up Remus' shirt, Sirius tweaked a nipple --the other hand was holding Remus' wrists above his head-- and kissed Remus passionately and deeply, stepping forward and knocking over a box of dryer sheets with his elbow.

They were in the front hall linen closet, jumbled amid cleaning supplies, bed sheets and the like, trying to give themselves a _much_ needed moment of privacy, as each look during the daytime made either want to jump the other and ravage them; dinner table, in front of the telly, in the middle of the street, it didn't really matter where. The worst of it was that both Remus and Sirius had agreed to keep things from everyone as long as possible as to avoid the expected nagging and I-told-you-so's that would otherwise be unavoidable. Only they could enjoy it now, and _holy mother_ were they enjoying it.

Sirius pressed his hips forward and let go of Remus' hands, using his now free one to reach around and slide a hand into Remus' shorts and cup his arse cheek roughly.

Remus threw his head back and it thunked against the wall, sucking in a sharp breath of air at Sirius' roaming hands and the things they were doing to him. He grabbed Sirius' face with both hands and pulled him into a rather rough, needy kiss. Remus wasn't sure he could ever get enough of Sirius, or how he'd gone so long without any at all. Their hips pressed together, and the friction wasn't enough. Remus wanted more.

"Sirius," Remus whispered into Sirius' mouth, and if he'd been planning to say anything else, Sirius' mouth moving along his jaw and down to bite his neck quite neatly made him forget.

Sirius' erection was slowly getting far too prominent to hide from Remus' thigh any longer, and he groaned, stopping just in time to hear the doorknob click. Someone in the hallway was trying in vain to open the door from the other side, and failing, because whoever had built the Potter's house had been strange enough to put a lock on the linen closet.

Sirius removed his hand from Remus' shorts and stepped back, trying to flatten his hair. He shot a painful, longing look at Remus, then at his crotch, and then unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"Mrs. Potter!" he exclaimed cheerily, flushed. "Corking to see you! How might we help you today? Linens? Cleaning supplies? MOP?" He realized a split second after that he'd said mop a little more than loudly.

Rachel blinked down at the boys for a moment, looking rather shocked. After a beat, she smiled and said, equally cheerily, "Sheets, please. I need to make up a bed for Peter tonight."

Remus blushed to the roots of his hair, but passed Sirius a set of sheets and pillowcases from the shelf nearest him.

"Oh, and James is looking for you. Thought you might like to know," Rachel said kindly, taking the sheets from Sirius and shutting the door as she walked away.

Sirius turned his head and raised an eyebrow at Remus, grinning. "So. Think she suspected something?"

***

Remus cast one last look over his shoulder as he reached the top of the short incline, covering his eyes from the sun so he could see the others just below him. James and Peter were building a sand castle and the Potters were lounging in their folding chairs. No one had noticed him leave, or Sirius a few moments before. Remus ducked around the last bunch of trees and spotted Sirius sitting in the sand behind the biggest rock, back against the stone. He approached quickly and dropped to his knees beside Sirius, smiling.

"They're all down at the river," Remus said a little breathlessly and tucked his hair behind his ears.

"Good," Sirius replied, and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, pulling him forward, crashing their lips together.

It was a humid day, and both boys were sweating. Sirius was shirtless, and it wasn't long before Remus' t-shirt began sticking to his chest. After a few frustrated moments, Sirius broke the kiss and slid his hands upward, pulling Remus' shirt over his head and tossing it on the sand.

Remus leaned into Sirius rather awkwardly, grabbing Sirius' arm with a slightly sandy hand to get his balance as they started kissing again. Remus bit Sirus' upper lip, licking at the salty taste of sweat. He brought his other hand up to Sirius' side, tentatively brushing his thumb over one of Sirius' nipples.

Sirius moaned, and then began kissing down Remus' jaw, to his neck, sucking just below his chin. His hand was headed in the direction of Remus' arse (a personal favourite) until he heard a shocked sounding squeal.

Looking up Sirius saw Peter, who was staring at the two of them in absolute fright. "D-did Remus g-get a l-leech or s-something?" he asked tentatively, not daring to ask the real question on his mind, assuring himself that Sirius' fingers were NOT under the waistband of Remus' shorts.

Remus pushed Sirius' hands away, blushing and moving away from Sirius. "No, Pete. Just... don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Leeches!" Peter exclaimed. "R-right! H-horrid little m-mites!" he added nervously, and ran away before he could be asked not to tell someone something else. He was absolute rubbish at keeping things a secret.

Sirius leaned his head back on the rock. "I wish everyone would just Bugger Off Someplace!" he exclaimed, irritably.

Remus sighed with frustration and leaned in to kiss Sirius gently. "Come on, we'd better go back."

***

The cool tile of the wall was shocking against Remus' back, but he smiled as he watched the hot water trailing a hundred little paths over Sirius' skin. He reached forward and pulled Sirius into him.

"We've been in here for ages," he murmured, drawing a pruney finger down Sirius' neck and along the line of his collarbone.

"Yes," Sirius replied, nibbling lightly on Remus' ear. "And I could stay in here for several more."

Remus was tempted, he must admit, but they'd been in for far too long already. He shook his head no and reached out to turn off the water. "Another time," he said, stepping out of the tub and reaching for his towel. The bathroom was so steamy and warm from their shower that he didn't even get goose bumps.

He'd only just secured his towel around his waist when the door began to open, and Remus scrambled to shut the shower curtains behind him, turning to face Lily with a look of guilty surprise on his face.

Lily jumped nearly a foot in the air. "Remus!" she exclaimed, equally surprised, and pulled her bathrobe more tightly closed. "What...? You haven't been in the shower all this time, have you? You left to hop in right after breakfast. An hour ago."

"Yes, well. I. Um. Decided to have a bath instead of a shower," Remus said quickly, his voice stilted and awkward. "Takes longer, you know."

"Oh," Lily said, still confused, noting the amount of steam and the fact that the shower curtain was still tucked in the edge of the bathtub. "Right, well. I'll give you a moment," she added, taking a step back.

Sirius snuck a sly hand around the shower curtain, tucking it under Remus towel and grabbing his arse cheek. The shower curtain shifted slightly.

Lily quirked an eyebrow. "What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing!" Remus yelped, his voice strangled. He tightened one hand on the shower curtain behind his back and held his towel in place with the other. Sirius had nearly caused it to fall right off. "It wasn't anything. I nearly slipped, is all. You know me. Clumsy. Ha. Um. Be out in a moment, then!"

Lily felt that there was something very odd occurring in the bathroom; she just really didn't know what, exactly.

"Right," she said, and stepped out of the room, shutting the door slowly, utterly perplexed. Remus surely didn't have a bloke in there... did he? And if he did, who on _earth_ would it be?

***

Stumbling into the kitchen, bleary-eyed, Sirius scratched his arse and hitched up his pyjama bottoms which had been resting dangerously low on his hipbones. Ignorant of everyone else, he smiled at Remus --who was pouring himself coffee-- who had snuck out of his arms about two hours ago, before James, Lily or Peter would've walked in and been privy to what they really spent so much time doing.

Remus looked at him as he approached, and Sirius felt the mad desire to throw him on the kitchen table, jam covered toast be damned, and have his way with him. He had bed head. It was all over the place. Sirius slapped him on the arse and leaned forward, kissing him on the cheek.

"Morning, puddin'," he said cheerfully.

Remus froze for a moment before setting the coffee pot down on the counter just a little too hard. He looked at Sirius, an expression of confused wonder on his face, and then over at everyone else. And it was everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Potter, James, Lily, and Peter were all sitting at the kitchen table, watching Sirius' good morning.

Remus coughed into one hand, the other curling protectively around his coffee cup. "Um, good morning to you too, Sirius," he finally said, looking away from the others.

Sirius followed Remus' gaze, and then suddenly woke up. Everyone was watching him. Everyone had just seen what he'd done. Holy. Crap.

There was a combination of disbelief and satisfaction written across the face of everyone but Peter. Peter looked as though he might vomit, cry, or both.

"I. Um. Er," Sirius stammered, and then bit his lip, wishing he could press rewind and walk back into the room again.

"You're a total and utter dolt, do you know that?" Remus sighed fondly. He leaned into Sirius, still red-faced but determinedly taking Sirius' hand anyway. "So. Um. Surprise."

After shaking the shock off of his face, James grinned and replied, "Not really, actually. Sirius has had it bad for you for years."

"I suppose they've discussed as much, James," Lily said, and smiled wryly. "Remus has had it bad for Sirius just as long."

"Well!" Rachel said suddenly. "Isn't this just romantic, then! We should celebrate. Leonard, why don't you make waffles?"

"Mum, we've already eaten," James said, confused.

"Maybe tomorrow," Leonard Potter replied gruffly, standing and beginning to collect dishes.

"Peter?" Lily asked. "Are you quite alright? You look as though you're about to be sick."

"E-Eggs," Peter replied, and then tore from the room.

"Don't worry about Wormtail. We'll whip him into shape," James said to Remus, watching the way Remus' eyes followed Peter wearily from the room.

"Oh, it's fine," Remus said quickly, ducking his head to take a sip of coffee.

"We've kept it from you lot long enough then," Sirius said and walked over to the table, grabbing a piece of toast. "At least now we can hang a towel on the door, and you'll all know we're shagging." He grinned, mouth full of bread, then asked, "Orange juice?"

"Sirius," Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Honestly."

James shook his head gravely and held up a hand. "Trust me Remus. It is worth it," he said, winking at Lily.

There was a great clatter from the kitchen sink and Leonard tried to hide a smile as he grunted, "Sorry. Dropped the soap and it knocked a mug in."


	15. The Most Awkward Dinner EVER (August 31st, 2005)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius chokes, Remus is brandished by a broom, and Mr. Lupin's peas do not survive. Poor peas.

The room had a window facing the sunset with a bed of blankets made up on the floor beneath it, though the two inhabitants of the room were currently sitting together on the actual bed. Remus pulled out a small black case now familiar to Sirius and opened it, revealing a small machine and some other medical supplies. He pricked his finger and caught the blood on a small stick of paper, putting it into the machine. Remus always had to check his blood sugar before meals. He stole a quick glance at Sirius. He never quite believed it didn't freak him out at least a little, no matter how many times he'd witnessed it.

"Can you believe the summer is over already?" Remus asked idly as he waited for his reading to come up.

Sirius shrugged, watching Remus' actions indifferently. "It's been a weird summer. Can you believe that we're starting our last year of school? I mean, technically I'm supposed to be finished already."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "I didn't think about that. It's so easy to forget you're older than I am," he said with a smile. "Oddly enough, though, I'm quite glad indeed you failed fifth grade, else we probably wouldn't be here now."

Remus' handheld machine beeped and he packed his stuff away. He'd be fine until after dinner.

Sirius shrugged again. "I suppose. I mean, I'd likely still be going to East Portlemouth, and mates with Prongs... but. I dunno. We'll never know." Sirius put his arms behind his head and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. "You know, this week has been great. I still don't understand why you didn't want me to come."

Remus turned to face Sirius and leaned down to kiss him. "Because you don't know my mother. I'm just waiting for, you know, the excrement to hit the air circulation device. Just wait, you'll see," Remus said, frowning. It would have to be tonight. It was their last night here, after all. Their train would leave in the morning to take them back to East Portlemouth.

"Remus, why do you only curse when you're irritated? For fucks sake. Shit. Fan. And your mother is absolutely spiffing, and your father is as docile as a done dog. What do you honestly expect them to get on with?"

"I don't know. I just, I have a feeling is all," Remus said. Before he could continue, there was a soft knock at the door. Remus leaned away from Sirius, pausing a moment to look down at him before getting up to answer it.

"Dinner time, sweetie," Remus' mum said as soon as he opened it. "Oh, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything?"

"No, mum. Sirius just decided to laze about on my bed while I checked my blood sugar level," Remus answered quickly.

"Lovely, comfortable bed too," Sirius chirped. "Perhaps you should sleep on the floor tonight, eh Moony?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I have offered every night, Sirius. Now quit napping and come downstairs, will you?" he said lightly.

"Be polite, Remus," Mrs. Lupin said before shaking her head at them and going downstairs. Remus gestured to Sirius to follow before doing just that himself.

"Hi Dad. How was work?" Remus asked as soon as he entered the kitchen. His dad was sitting at the table already.

"Same old, same old," Mr. Lupin replied, and folded up the newspaper he had been reading, setting it under his chair. "And what have you boys been up to today?"

"Packing, mostly," Remus answered, sitting down in his spot across from his mother's. "I've only been home for a week, but somehow my school stuff got spread all over the whole house."

Mrs. Lupin set the last dish on the table, filling Remus and Sirius' glasses with what Remus assumed was Fanta before she took her own seat.

Sirius, of course, dug right in as usual, not hesitated to make pleased noises as he shoveled forkfuls of food into his mouth. "Delicious," he told Mrs. Lupin thickly.

"Thank you, Sirius. Have you boys got all of your things together, then? I won't have you doing last minute packing in the morning," she said jovially.

"Yes, Mum. We're all set," Remus answered calmly, taking a rather large helping of his mother's cooking. It was the last home cooked meal he'd eat in a while, after all. He might as well enjoy it.

"Might want to double-check, of course," Mr. Lupin suggested. "I often find myself forgetting things at the last minute, particularly things like my toothbrush. Horrible thing to forget."

"We'll do a walk-through tonight and check every room," Remus said agreeably.

"Oh, honey, your sweaters are all dry. They've been hanging since last night."

"Thank you, Mum," Remus said. He'd told her a hundred times she didn't have to do his laundry anymore, but she never listened. He supposed she liked to take care of him.

"I should probably wash my socks," Sirius said thoughtfully, then returned to his food.

"Oh yes," Mr. Lupin agreed. "Socks are very important. Keep your feet warm. Dry. Socks are useful things."

Mrs. Lupin set her cutlery down gently and looked right at Remus. "I just don't understand why you wouldn't tell me, Remus."

"Ah, tell you what, Mum? About Sirius' socks?" Remus asked weakly. He had an idea where this conversation was going, just by the tone of her voice.

Sirius choked on his carrots, and patted himself on the chest. "About socks?" he echoed, squeakily and breathlessly.

Mr. Lupin's face had gone red. He cleared his throat, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, come now boys. I have been a mother for the better part of two decades, and mothers know these things," she said briskly. "And Remus, we've suspected you were gay for years."

Remus blinked at her and then looked down at his plate, keeping quiet and pushing his food around with his fork. So much for enjoying his last home cooked meal.

Sirius had attempted to return to eating, promptly choking on his food again, peas this time. He looked incredulously from Remus, to Mrs. Lupin, then to Mr. Lupin, who appeared to be stabbing _his_ peas with discomfort. "Er," he started, but failed to say anything else. For the first time in his life, he was speechless.

"Remus," Mrs. Lupin said. Remus shifted in his seat and his cheeks reddened, but he didn't look up. "Remus, please. I'm right, aren't I? You and Sirius? You're, well. Boyfriends?"

"I don't think that's really your business, Mum," Remus said softly, still keeping his eyes down and using a tone he'd never before taken with his parents. After a long, shocked moment, he sighed and looked up. "But yes."

Sirius made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, feeling as though he'd just walked into the twilight zone.

Mr. Lupin was still massacring his peas.

"Oh," Mrs. Lupin said, staring wide-eyed between her son and Sirius. "That's, it's... well. Would you like some more carrots?"

Remus looked away again, this time at his father. He was slowly but surely turning his dinner to mush. Remus wiped his face with his napkin and then set it next to his plate, getting to his feet. "Excuse me for a moment," he said, casting an apologetic look at Sirius for leaving him with his parents even as he walked from the kitchen and out the back door. He leaned against the house and took a few deep breaths, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Sirius now laughed awkwardly, making a mental note to kill Remus in his sleep. "Er, yes. More carrots. Please," he said, and swallowed nervously.

Mrs. Lupin put a very large scoopful of carrots onto his plate before shaking her head. "I suppose you'd better go after him then, shouldn't you?" she said, setting the dish of carrots down. "You are his boyfriend after all."

Sirius' face burned red and he frowned. He wanted to snap, being protective of Remus, but stopped himself, noting that getting into a heated argument with his boyfriend's mother probably wasn't the best plan. He stood without a word, mostly because he didn't know what else to say, and followed the same path as Remus, eventually turning up beside him.

It was the way she had said it that was bothering him. How she made boyfriend seem like the most horrid occupation in the world. He shuddered involuntarily as he settled himself against the wall, next to Remus.

"We can break it off. If you want to."

Remus looked up quickly. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even heard the door open. His face softened as soon as he saw who it was, and he shook his head.

"Don't be daft. You aren't getting rid of me that easily," Remus said and tugged Sirius close, leaning his face into the crook of Sirius' neck and hooking his thumbs through the belt loops on Sirius' hips. "They'll get used to it. They've suspected for years, didn't you hear?" he asked a little bitterly.

Sirius scratched his nose. "I heard, yea. I'd say your mum doesn't beat around the bush, but I suppose she has been for a while. I guess I'm ulterior motive. Or something."

"Well, maybe not. She really did want to meet you and I think that's really why she invited you. All this is just..." Remus trailed off, speaking against the skin of Sirius' neck. "She probably only brought this stuff up because she could tell how I felt about you. I'm not very good at hiding things from her."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. Sirius wished he could defend his own mother like Remus did. He wished he could say the same things about the family who considered him a disgrace. He wished he were loyal. "Maybe we should go back in," Sirius suggested quietly.

Remus sighed and leaned back a bit, scrunching his nose. "Do we have to? We could just stay out here all night," he joked even as he let go of Sirius to get ready to go back in.

Sirius tugged Remus back by the shoulder, pulling them nose-to-nose. He tucked a strain of hair away from his face. "I love you," he said, softly, and kissed him and kissed him tenderly, cupping Remus' cheek with his hand.

Remus relaxed into Sirius' mouth and hand, letting the kiss make him feel stronger, more confident. This was right; his parents would realize that eventually. They loved him.

Remus pulled away with a soft smile and whispered, "I love you too. And sorry about all this. Come on."

As soon as Remus turned to face the door, he stopped. His mother was standing there, watching with wide eyes. Remus shot a bit of a panicked look at Sirius, but then straightened his shoulders and took Sirius' hand.

Mrs. Lupin's gaze fell down to their clasped hands before she looked back up to meet her son's eyes. "You treat my Remus right, Sirius Black. He's a good boy and he deserves the best," she said firmly to Sirius, offering them both a wide, approving smile.

Sirius smiled widely in return. "I'll corrupt him nicely," he said teasingly, and laughed with relief.

Remus grinned, closing his eyes and leaning into Sirius, letting the relief wash over him as he dropped his head backwards onto Sirius' shoulder for a short moment. Remus squeezed his boyfriend's hand in his and let out a breathy chuckle that sounded a little like a dry sob.

"Of course you will, dear," Mrs. Lupin said, patting Sirius on the cheek, sounding wistful. She gently smoothed Remus' hair as soon as he stood up again to look at her, shaking her head and leaning onto her tiptoes to press a kiss to his forehead. She cleared her throat and said firmly, "Well. Your dinner is getting cold. Best come on and finish eating."

"Right, eating," Sirius said, as he and Remus followed Mrs. Lupin back into the house and to the table, seating themselves and digging into their nosh again.

Mr. Lupin seemed rather gruff, but smiled, exchanging smiles and conversation in a much lighter atmosphere.

Remus thought that perhaps the chance to enjoy his last home cooked meal wasn't completely lost after all.


End file.
